you are loved

Not sure all people feel the love this Holy Week, or even after Easter. I'm preparing a sermon for chapel the week after Easter, and for some reason, when I read the texts, there are few Hallelujah's flying out of my mouth. I should be rejoicing, but part of me realized not all people get a Jesus high from Easter. They go back to the same crappy lives once the ears of the chocolate bunnies have been bitten off. It reminded me of a song I got to "drance" (Drama/Dance) last year on internship. If you feel at all like this guy this week or next, know you are loved.

friendly walk

Tonight I had the chance to take a walk with four seminary friends (well, three plus Kira). It was somewhat bitter-sweet walking the neighborhood, talking about classes, plans for next year, and life in general. For only a few more months will we be able to do stuff like this. It was hard not to take it all in on a 65 degree day. Gusty winds swept a few locks free from my pony tail, a race up a hill in a skirt and chacos, and stepping on a creamer packet (thanks to the cafeteria worker who dropped it and left it on the sidewalk) made it all the more memorable. Here's to spontaneous walks, friends, and half and half on my sandals! So thankful for four friends who have managed to avoid the poison and remain honest and real during these last four years. Here's to the Spontaneous Club! Photos from Year #1 of Seminary! Wow, how we've all changed.

Healthcare Politics & Holy Week

So...I don't normally write much about politics here. It's not that I don't have some pretty strong convictions, but it's just that I so rarely find these conversations to bear fruit that I don't even bother writing about the issues. I'd love to have real actual give and take conversation over and beer or coffee -- and that's often what happens.

To point out the dynamics of these conversations two links:

This Chart Shows Compares Republican and Democratic Healthcare Bills Since 1993 // it speaks for itself.
http://www.kaiserhealthnews.org/Graphics/2010/022310-Bill-comparison.aspx

This Poll Shows President Obama's Rating Jumped with the Passage of Healthcare Reform... // let that speak for itself too
http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2010/03/29/cnn-poll-obama-approval-ratings-up/

But Healthcare is worth talking about at least because it is a theological issue. Of course the politics haven't dared go to the root issue, the theological issue. I distinctively remember a conversation with my father, a healthcare administrator (finance), in which he strongly said that the real issue in this country is not primary care for everyone. He was speaking out of his financial expertise. You see this is not really that big of a financial issue. It's actually quite simple and it's something hospitals trying to make profits deal with all the time. Primary care prevents trips to Emergency Rooms. Hospitals have to treat those will immediate, emergency problems. And I know there are some who've just entirely overlooked this reality but, as it turns out our government already pays substantial subsidies for emergency care. So, providing primary care is actually just smart all around. It will save all of us money.

But of course as I said, this is not the issue. The issue is that we don't know how to die well. We don't value the elderly...in fact we don't value eldership in any sense of the word. In modernity we became a future-centered society. All of society was built towards having a better future. And let's be honest, we made a lot of crap come out really good to that end. But what happens when you die? There's no future, then. And so we avoid death at all cost. We avoid the grave, that is obvious and that is what my dad was talking about. We do crazy things medically that we know have negligible possibilities of preventing death (Reminder: you are going to die...in case you'd forgotten). But we also deny death in every other sense of the word. We deny the very process of dying that happen everyday...of our grief, of our despair, or our weakness, of dreams never met, of jobs lost, relationships lost, divorces...

This is why it is a theological issue. We are deathly afraid of death. And so during this Holy Week, this week where we all remember the sting of death, let us not deny, but rather let us proclaim the crucified Christ. We proclaim a God who has dies with us.

A Prayer on Psalm

My God, My God why have you forsaken me?
You have sustained me all my life.
Do not forsake me now, draw near to me -- to my groaning.
Teach us not to deny death, but proclaim your very presence in it.
In the name of the Crucified Christ, the one who dies with us.

Amen.

Picture: Guido Rocha (d. 2009), The Tortured Christ, Presented at the World Council of Churches, 1975

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Spring Has Sprung

I will offer just a touch of nostalgia to begin. Think back about 10 years or so. On a Monday night you may be sitting watching WWF (yes I admit it, I watched it in college). The final match of the night was getting ready to start.

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson came swaggering out to the ring. He would grab the microphone, strut around the ring a few times, then throw his head back and yell. "Finally The Rock has come back to (where ever it was that they were performing that night)." I saw him live once. It was "back to Minneapolis" that night, but I digress.

I do have a purpose for this brief discussion. It is to lead into this statement.

FINALLY SPRING HAS COME BACK TO IOWA!!!

Its been creeping up on us for the past few week, which has been great. But I'm going to call it official after yesterday.

Reason #1-I noticed yesterday, that the snow is officially gone from my yard. It was down to a small (and ever shrinking) drift between my house and the neighbors house. Basically, it was the small amount of area that is shaded by said neighbor's house, therefore lacking any direct (and snow melting) sunlight. But it's all gone now, leaving behind a ton of sticks to pick up and a yard full of raking to do. Oh joy.

Reason #2-I rode my bike for the first time yesterday. It was warm enough at lunch time, that I decided to pull out the bike and ride it over to the office (approximately a mile away). Two things made this difficult. One, I hadn't put any air in the tires and they were very low...VERY low. That creates a lot of drag while riding. Two, I haven't ridden since about September, so the muscles required were drastically out of practice. So by the time I walked into the office (which was really only about 6 or 7 minutes after leaving home) my legs felt very jellyish. After work, I headed 2 blocks to the gas station and put air in the tires. Its amazing how much easier it was to ride on the way home.

In addition to these two things, I also started a touch of yard work. There's a big access parking spot along the edge of my back yard that the city put in as they have to access something in the sewer system on occasion. The access area is filled with river rock so that they don't carve up someone's lawn (that someone being me in this case). Well, over the winter as the snow was piling up, they pulled a plow into that access area and managed to push a fair amount of the river rock out into my grass. So yesterday when I got home, the kids were playing in the backyard, and I thought I would take advantage and toss the rocks back where they were supposed to be. After about 10 minutes (when we got called in for supper) I realized that it was going way to slow and that a solid tined rake would work better. Only issue, I don't have one. So I called the in-laws and walked down (with my smaller midget) to get it.

That worked a lot faster. But once the rocks were back where they needed to be (approximately 10 minutes later) I thought that I had done enough for the night.

The last kicker which made yesterday a great day, the fact that I had nothing to do for school. The kids went to bed and I sat and read a novel for awhile. Then I popped in a movie and just relaxed for the evening.

It was great.

Palm Sunday: "my mind races today..."

Welcome to Holy Week....which is kind of like welcoming you to despair...It's a long road from Palm Sunday to Eastern morn. To often we want to jump forward. Well, I'm going to invite you to not do that. I'm going to invite you to sit in the darkness, the grief and the horror of this week. Of course we know where this ends, but this is a three act play and you can't just jump to the end. T

This is about the now.
This is about the tension between Hosanna and Barabbas.
This is about hearts beating too fast and minds racing away.
This is about raising our own accusing voices.
This is about participation every step on along the way.
So go ahead..."hosanna."

Video: "Hosanna," Chair and Mic, Vol. 2: Aaron Strumpel, Enter the Worship Circle, 2006.

The Holy Week Trilogy: "Hosanna," "Stricken," and "Beauty" are all written and performed by my good friend Aaron Strumpel. The picture (Aaron Strumpel, Foscoe Jones and me) was at a house concern a few years back. I'll be posting three videos here.

Download now or watch on posterous

hosanna_web.mov (7417 KB)

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Jonsi

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Hallelujah!

How many version of "Hosanna" did you hear today? Did you hear any Hallelujah's? I sang this one tonight at a service in Eagan. Only Broken Hallelujah was all the liturgy would allow.

Faimly Time With Dragons

Holy Week. You are my friend.
Mainly because you bring along a welcome week long break from classes. I'm ready for that too.
To celebrate my week long freedom (that is really non existent but I won't go into that here), we just did something special as a family. We trekked 20 minute away and saw How To Train Your Dragon...in 3D. All 4 of us went and that's unusual. Usually a movie like this involves my son and I going and we call it man-time. This time we all went.
The movie itself, very good. The 3D effects...amazing. Definitely the best 3D experience I've had, though admittedly I haven't seen Avatar so maybe I haven't' set the bar very high. The best part of the whole 3D experience, in a shot after a large explosion, there's ash floating down in the air. It really looks like it's right in front of you. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my son reach out and try to brush the ash away from his face.
You Go 3D movie makers, get down with your bad selves.

good news, bad news

Good first: I think this month's issue of the Concord is probably one of my favorite covers to date. It looks much more awesome in black and white, actually, on the print, but you get the idea here. Lots of great articles too.

Bad: A rough history test this morning. I suck so bad at written tests like that. Especially the first one, I'm never quite sure how to study for it. At least I know better now for the next one. Note to self: paper writing is my friend.

Why I'm Not Seeking Ordination..., Pt.1: Nagging Questions.

For the past six months I've been in some deep discernment with a very close group of family, friends, mentors, pastors and faculty here at Luther Seminary. That discernment might best be described as a "nagging." If I could have left it behind me and not confronted it, I would have...because it was awfully disorienting. And I tried. And that didn't work. The questions that just wouldn't leave me alone went something like this:

Is there room for me in the ELCA to do what I'm called to?

What meaning can be made out of the previous season of life as a mission developer at The Netzer Co-Op?

What is the most faithful way to be committed to my Lutheran tradition? Does that even mean serving as a leader in the ELCA?

What is God calling me to now?

What kind of future do I understand God to be calling me into?

As it turns out, these aren't the kind of questions that could be honored by simple answers and I'm not actually "done" answering these questions. But a few insights became clear over the course of months of listening...

(1) It's clear to me that a better way to think about that first question (as opposed to an actual "yes" or "no") is to think about the way that vocation always means a deep "yes", and a corresponding deep "no." A commitment to be part of a community comes with boundaries. Sometimes those are expressed theologically or confessionally. Sometimes those are expressed simple in terms of time. Of course how one commits to something complex like the ELCA is nuanced. For me it became clear that I wanted to commit to the ELCA out of a vision to make more room for different kinds of faith expression in this church. It also became clear to me that if you're going to renovate the house, you probably shouldn't just start knocking down walls before checking to see if they are load-bearing. Ordination is a "load-bearing wall" in the ELCA at this point. This is particularly true for someone who happens to fix the stereotype of a young, white male candidate for ministry. There's not exactly freedom for creativity in that place.

(2) The three years I spent at The Netzer Co-Op was the most formative maybe precisely because it cost me so much. And honestly I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. But at the same time I won't romanticize it. This past fall I gave a guest presentation in a class on Developing New Missional Communities and I described the situation that started the co-op as "asking a bunch of twenty year olds to do ________ for $10,000." Maybe you already know this, but there are LOTS of things a 20 year old would do for that kind of money without much critical reflection. Many of the responsibilities that came with that were far too similar to being asked to grow up too fast in church leadership circles. The whole Lutheran Posterchild narrative still haunts me. It was demoralizing narrative for me.

(3) There's limits to any metaphor but one that has had a certain resonance for me and my experience of the candidacy process was that of an engagement (In the interest of full disclosure...since I've never actually been engaged this is sort of fabricated). And it seems to me that if you have any serious doubt to whether that's a life-long commitment that you really intend to keep, it's probably better to simply take the time you work that out. Working those questions out while planning for a wedding just doesn't seem fair to either side. Of course in the candidacy process its a bit more complicated than that because there really aren't "safe spaces" to express those doubt and serious concerns. That was my experience anyways.

(4) Something about time and being present to it emerged as a spiritual theme I wanted to be attentive to. The candidacy process is kind of like jumping on a trendmill set for full sprint. They've got that process nailed down and that pipeline spits you out on the otherside like a human canon. I found it very difficult to be fully present to the amazing things and people that were going on around me because there's this insane program of conditioning candidates for what's next in the complicated array of possibilities that lies ahead. That has surprisingly disappeared instantly. Maybe that's my problem.

This post is already obnoxiously long and so I'll wrap up this first part...

Since making a final decision just a few weeks ago, what is has been surprising to me is that I've found far more support for this decision among faculty than students. Of course my close circle of family, friends, pastors and mentors were strong in making sure that I knew they supported me no matter what. And I love them for that. But what I didn't expect is that students — and in particular other Master of Divinty/candidates — would at times get defensive...as if I were somehow making a commentary on their decision. It's been weird. Of course Master of Arts (non ordination/roster) have been the most encouraging of the students. Maybe it's because they understand the risks I'm embracing on that front.

To be honest I don't blame them. It only confirms for me the lack of space to question, agitate or raise non-negotiable concerns in the candidacy process while in it. It's frankly sad. But there's grace there too.

to be continued...

Tim

 

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5th Annual Variety Show

I have no official word on the money raised from the Variety Show and Silent Auction last night, but the atmosphere was definitely fun. I think it's safe to say hosting the show on a Reading Day was not the best idea. Attendance was about half what is usually is, (hopefully the bidding wasn't half). Fortunately, my entry came first thing in the program, so the energy was high enough to make me believe I was singing to a full house! I sang Sweet Caroline (by Neil Diamond) through the eyes of Karoline Lewis. A few people have told us we look alike (do you agree?) so I figured at my final show, a tribute to my twin would be the perfect finale! A special thanks to Dennis who taped the piece, and provided some awesome background vocals for it! :)



Sweet Karoline
By: Amber Sue Marten

Well it begins
I'm preaching today in chapel
My sermon is great, but what to wear?
I say screw the alb
I'm thinking heels and color
no matter what, the men will stare.

At one, gorgeous one, stunning one
pretty me, ugly you!

Sweet Karoline
A teacher should never look this good
I look divine
More than any other could, but now

Skinner and Lose
ain't got nothin' on the maven
the brainwave would tank if not for me
and when I preach
they're sitting in sheer amazement
tryin' to take notes frantically
(don't worry Matt, I'll slow down for ya)

And hands, praying hands,
preaching out, moving me, saving you!

Sweet Karoline
Romans never read so good
I'm changing lives
more than Martin Luther could.

TONIGHT!

Don't forget the 5th Annual Variety Show is tonight! Most people get there around 5:30 to start bidding, eat, and take in the show at 7:00. I hear there are some awesome silent auction items, so bring your cash and get ready to bid! See you tonight! Here are a few photos from two years ago when Grant Applehans and I played seminary lovebirds to "Seminary Lovin."

Arturo Sandoval tonight at The Dakota

By the way, The Dakota isn't paying to blog about them so much. It's just that I got this new membership and I'm going all out. This is an amazing video of Arturo playing A Mis Abuelos, the classic latin standard. Tonight I'm headed over with my friend Dave Hahn (a cool phd student here at Luther Seminary) to see the show. Dave introduced me to The Dakota and we share a love for jazz. So far we've seen The Marcus Roberts Trio, The Dirty Dozen Brass Band and then tonight's show. Those are three pretty amazing jazz groups...all easily among top ten performing at the moment.

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A Rapid Turn Around

Yesterday afternoon was a bit of an up and down. It started off with a nap, which is always wonderful. Once the kids got up, I was hanging out with them alone as my wife was at the church for a meeting. The plan was to head out to the church about 5 for a potluck Mexican meal highlighting one of our members mission work that he does down south.





Everything was going along great. We got out there and were sitting at a table socializing, mainly with our day care lady and her husband who also go to our church. I got a kick out of the people that were trying to get the tv to display what they wanted.

The thought went through my head "How many Lutherans does it take to turn on a tv?"

I think the final answer turned out to be about 7, but don't quote me on that.

The end of the joke came around a couple minutes later when my daughter promptly threw up all over the table we were sitting at. Fortunately, we didn't have any food yet. So the wife and son stayed there and had supper, and I took her home to get cleaned up.

I'll give her credit, she was a trooper through it. I put her in the bathtub and got her in her jammies and she planted on the couch while I did up some laundry. She got up by herself and walked into the bathroom a couple times, thinking she was going to throw up again. But both times were false alarms. However, the third time was not.

The good news, she seems to be okay this morning. We didn't have any issues over night and though she is staying home today, I think she's on the mend.

You're Invited!

If this your first year at Luther Seminary, let me help you make your Tuesday night plans...THE VARIETY SHOW! Sure to provide you with lots of laughs, song, skits, and even some obnoxious performances from the Luther faculty and staff. Be sure to bring money for silent auction bidding--here's hoping Rollie Martinson is giving away another date night in his sweet car! See you there! Come from 4-9 or anytime in between!

The Dakota: Jack Brass Band & The Preservation Hall Jazz Band

Tonight my friend Ben Durbin and I headed out to The Dakota to break in my A-Train Membership. We were greeted with a handshake and special welcome as A-Train members, and so I felt important and grabbed a couple of seats as The Jack Brass Band was already playin'. A few songs into the set a lady escorted a few gentlemen to a table just a few feet from ours. They looked familiar. Then I saw one was wearing a sweatshirt from Preservational Hall. At that moment I remembered that a friend posted on his facebook profile that Preservation Hall Jazz Band was playing with the Minnesota Orchestra. And sure enough I was right...the current touring Preservation Hall Jazz Band WAS IN THE HOUSE, in the audience. William Smith grabbed a trumpet (come to think of it...where did that even come from...) and joined the band on stage. I snapped this photo and a quick iPhone recording of the whole thing. (this is probably illegal...)

Well first night taking advantage of my A-Train membership set the bar pretty high...can't wait for next week.

Jack Brass Brand W/ William Smith by Jack Brass Band  
Download now or listen on posterous

Jack Brass Brand w_ William Smith.mp3 (4664 KB)

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pinecones

If you see Kevin and I crawling around under pinetrees this spring, don't be alarmed...working on a special wedding project. If you see any cool ones, feel free to send them my direction!! :)

An Eventful Thursday

Yesterday was eventful.

This semester, as per usual, I've had two classes. Now I've mentioned them both before, but for a quick refresher, I'm taking Reading the Audiences and Hebrew. At the moment, there's nothing to report for Hebrew. It's business as usual. However, RTA is a bit of an odd ball in that it started on campus in January, and then finished online. The online portion runs through week 6 of the semester, which incidentally ends today.

Are you picking up what I'm putting down?

This week, our assignment was to post up a draft of our final paper (3 total for the class) by Tuesday night, comment on one group member's paper by Thursday and then post the final draft by next Monday. I posted my final draft yesterday morning. It was done, I figured there was no point in delaying it...so I posted it.

RTA is done!!!!!

This leaves me with only a single class for the rest of the semester. Which makes me happy...and will ensure that I get a little more sleep in the upcoming weeks than I've been getting lately. Also good.

Yesterday was the first really nice day we've had so far this spring. The temperature got somewhere between 50 and 60 and the sun was out most of the day. I got home from work and the family wanted to go for a walk. So we busted out the stroller for the small one and the wagon for the tall one and we headed out. We walked a fair piece to, probably 2 or 3 miles all told. It was gorgeous, but unfortunately we all knew it was going to be short lived as a cold front was rapidly approaching.

The final eventful thing was a night of total slacking. I did zero homework last night...and I'm really proud of it. Sadly, there was no good tv as everything is superseded by the NCAA basketball tournament. Actually, now that I mention that, I'm reminded of one more thing. I'm in a yahoo bracket pool with a batch of my friends. Most of them are sports buffs. I'm not. However, after the first day of games, I'm in second place (out of 8) trailing only one guy by a single point. The really funny part of the whole deal...if there is any guy in the world that knows even less about sports than me, it's this guy.

I really hope the rest of the guys are cringing about getting beat by the two novices. Of course, there's a lot of tournament left. A lot can happen in terms of points, but I'll take my voctories where I can get them.

secret society part 2

on my 24th birthday

A year ago things were different.
... perhaps in both big and small ways.

Over the past year I made some transitions and even more are to come. I'll be sharing some of those with friends in the coming week, but for now thanks to all of you, friends and family, who've been a part of this year.

peace,

tim

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Seriously? Internet Yellow Pages

Sent from my thumb-operated device...

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secret society part 1

Go Public Like A Prophet

Listen to @LuthWorldRelief Rev. John Nunes call on us to "go public like a prophet" at #luthersem

  
Download now or listen on posterous

Memo.m4a (3089 KB)

Sent from my thumb-operated device...

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The Game Feed

This may appear slightly outdated, but its been a busy few days.

Last Friday was the peak of the Men's Ministry at my church. Every year, we put on an event called the Men's Wild Game Feed. This was our 10th Annual feed, which is crazy. I can't believe it's been 10 years that it's been going on.

Admittedly, I haven't personally been involved with it that long, but pretty close. I was not at the first event, which occurred in the Fellowship Hall of our old church building. About 25 guys showed up and at that time, each guy cooked his own game and brought it. Really more of a pot-luck type situation.

However, we had a chef from a local resort in attendance that night, and he stood up and said "Okay guys, next year bring your game out to the restaurant a couple days ahead of time, and we'll cook it up there."

So starting with the 2nd Annual feed, we had a new location. This was the first time I attended. We actually lived about half a mile away from the restaurant at the time and our patio doors faced the street. I knew the event was going on but had it in my head that it started later. So after watching about 50 cars go driving by I thought maybe I should head that way. I was the last in line...figures. But that would be the start of a trend.

Starting with the 3rd annual event, I was on the planning committee. To be honest, I don't know how that happened, but okay. My part of the event was pretty simple. Together with another guy, we manned the money table the night of the event. Other than that, we pretty much showed up at occasional meetings for it.

The event remained at the restuarant for the next couple of years, but once our new church was completed, along with a huge fellowship hall, we moved the event to the new facility. The first one that happened there was teh 7th Annual event.

Okay, background is done now.

Friday afternoon I jetted out of work early and headed to the church. In addition to sitting at the money table (which ironically I didn't do this time) I've also inherited the role of leading the dining room setup and cleanup. Really it's pretty simple, but I enjoy it.

I got there about 1 and the first thing I did was map out the layout of all the areas that we would be moving around. That took me a little bit, and then we (me and a few other guys that were there to help) started moving tables, setting up chairs, setting up a stage, etc etc. It took us a couple hours and I tell you what, its a fun time.

The odd thing about this year was that I needed to leave while all the guests were arriving. I have a weekly conference call for Hebrew class Friday's at 5:30, so I headed home after the setup was completed. Once the call was done, I took my son and we headed back out to the church for supper. This was his first time going and he was pretty pumped for it. We got there about 6:45 and I figured by that time the line would be pretty minimal. I was wrong.

The line was clear down the hallway into the Narthex. So we had some waiting time. Considering that we were the tail end of the line, I took advantage and put the Narthex back in order. Once less thing for "cleanup time" after supper was done.

Finally after awhile, we made it to the food. The food. Let me tell you. It was amazing. Venison, elk, goose, duck, pheasant, fish. You name it, we had it. A good friend of mine (also a former chef, though different from the original guy) is in charge of the cooking now and it is spectacular.

The event was very successful. We had 240 people there plus all the kitchen help, so the fellowship hall was full.

The program went well. We had a great speaker and as a whole things went great. Cleanup went quickly too and I was home by 9:30. All in all, a great night.

Paul Soupiset SketchNotes! (good for your imaginations)

via soupiset.posterous.com

My good friend Paul Soupiset has been hitting up the SXSW festival in my old stomping grounds of Austin, Texas. His illustrated "sketchnotes" are brilliant, fun and will get your imaginations flowing this morning. Jump on over to his posterous and see what I mean: http://soupiset.typepad.com/

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God discourages church attendence

Sent from my thumb-operated device...

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DST

Did you show up to church an hour late today? Seems like the pews were a little empty today. Maybe more than a few people forgot. If you still have no idea what I'm talking about...this late in the day...Daylight savings time people!! Change your clocks!

birthday community

My birthday is on Friday. 27. What happened to the 80's? 90s? 00s? Kevin put together the perfect gathering of friends on Wednesday night. Seminary friends who I respect, admire, and can be myself around. We gathered in the Roy Harrisville Dance Hall (2nd floor in Stub). It's still creepily decorated with Roy's photo. I have only had one negative interaction with him: he scolded Hannah and I for playing Christmas Carols on the piano in the OCC cafeteria. We were bringing beautiful Christmas tunes to the lunch room, and he yelled at us. Whatever.

Back to the birthday bliss. A group of friends, an ice cream cake, salsa, and a box of Honey Bunches of Oats with Cinnamon Bunches completed the evening of fun. So grateful for this final year to celebrate with friends. I realize it will never be like this again. Next year we'll all be scattered all over the globe. LOVE LOVE LOVE all of you!

heatherlyn (folk) rockin'

Tonight some friends and I hit up Minneapolis to see my friend Heatherlyn play at a benefit show for Haiti. The event was hosted by friends at the Fall Out Urban Art Center. About four years ago I was introduced to the Fallout by Aaron Strumpel and Tracy Howe who have long been friends and partners with their work. They do some amazing work especially with homeless youth and with creativity as a catalyst for impacting the neighborhood. Honestly some of the most loving people you'll ever meet are just hangin' out there, waiting for you to stop by.

There's still so much of these cities to see...

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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God's Voice

When planning my mom’s funeral, there was one hymn that we all agreed should be used, “I Was There to Hear Your Borning Cry.” I first learned of the hymn when I was asked to choose a hymn for my son’s baptism 13 years ago. My mom had requested we use this song because it was one she really liked

Since then, “Borning Cry” has become one of my own favorite hymns. The lyrics are meaningful to me and I find them full of God’s love and promise to be there my entire life. I get a lump in my throat at the best of times when singing this song, so I knew I wouldn’t be able to get through the entire thing at my mom’s funeral. I thought I would at least get through some of it. Silly me. I didn’t. I got so choked up after the first few words that I couldn’t even see the hymnal through the tears. Instead, I just listened.

The building was packed for my mom’s funeral. She was only 60 when she died and had touched so many lives. My brother and I also had a lot of people there to support us, some who had never even met my mom. They sang for my mom when I couldn’t and they sang beautifully. There is something about a congregation singing a hymn that makes it more beautiful than any other large group singing together. There are always “choir people” in the group and they instinctively harmonize. Even non-believers stand up a little straighter and sing a little louder at a funeral. When I didn’t have the voice to sing for my mom, God provided a voice to sing for me.

Only a week later, God provided me the opportunity to be another’s voice. The husband of an older church friend died exactly a week after my mom. One of the hymns selected for his funeral was, of course, “Borning Cry.” It still hurt to sing this song and it probably always will, but I made sure to attend the funeral because I know how important it is to lift my voice in song when others cannot; to sing praises to God when others are too broken to do so themselves.

Random Happenings

A few things have happened in the past couple days that I want to talk about.

The first happened Wednesday night. We were all at church for our weekly Lenten service. During the initial period we were singing various songs, as is the custom. In an introduction to the final song, which was supposed to be The Old Rugged Cross, the music leader was going on and on about the author of the song. He elaborated on how the author came up with the notion of the lyrics. The whole time he was doing this, the words on the screen were for Amazing Grace. I think we were all wondering if he realized what was going on.

Finally, as he's wrapping up, he says "The Old Rugged Cross is a wonderful song and truly inspiring. It's one of those songs that simply speaks to you." Then he looked up at the screen. After a momentary blank stare during which he realized the error he said, "This one's good too."

It could be considered an epic fail...but as it turned out it was good for a laugh. Sometime in worship, you've got to roll with the punches. Been there, done that.

The next thing worth mentioning happened yesterday. My daughter is approaching school age. This fall she'll start Pre-K. Let me tell you how excited she is for it. She's been talking about it for a year now. Yesterday we had her initial visit to the class room. It only lasts for 20 minutes, and after having done the same thing for our son a couple years ago, we knew what to expect. But do you think that dampened her mood towards it?

Heck No!!!

My wife picked her up from day care yesterday and then they swung by the office to pick me up (which is very handy considering I'm about a block away from the school. I can literally walk 5 feet to my left and see the building right now. I got in the car and she was about bouncing right out of her seat.

"Daddy...I'm going to school...I'm going to school."

"Yes, but only for a few minutes today right?"

"Yes." And then she promptly stuck her thumb back in her mouth. We haven't cured her of that yet, but I'm not overly surprised. I did it for years as a kid. Imagine Linus from Peanuts...that was me. I asked her about it and she said, "I'll take it out at the school." Which she did. I guess appearances are half the battle aren't they?

The final thing that happened was a going away party for some friends last night. A family from our old small-group is relocating to Kansas and so the whole crew got together to show them support as they depart. It was a fun time and hopefully they felt good about it. It was enjoyable to pray over them as they go and makes me hope that one day that will happen for us as well. Eventually I will finish up school and will accept a call, and it's fairly unlikely that it will be here. So I'm guessing that a move is looming down the road for us as well.

But now I sit here, waiting for my next big thing, which will be this afternoon and tonight. Our Men's Wild Game Feed happens at church tonight and I'm on the planning committee. My role is in dining room setup, so I'm knocking off early today to do that. The only weird part of it this year (my 6th or 7th year of involvement) is that I have to leave for my Hebrew conference call right when the thing is starting. My call is at 5:30 and that's right about the time people start showing up for it. However, my cohort that also man's the door is aware of my absence and his son is going to take my spot. Then after my call is done, I'll head back out to the church. Taking my son along for the first time this year. Hopefully he enjoys it.

aa

Addictions. I am taking this class with Gary Wilkerson and learning a TON about drug and alcohol addiction. One of the requirements for class is to attend four AA or NA meetings. I got a chance to attend one last Tuesday. Earlier in the day, my mom asked me, "What do you have going on tonight?" I said, "I'm going to an AA meeting." She started laughing at me, not knowing I'm taking Addictions class. I don't drink, so I guess I understand her amusement. Showing up at the site made me a little nervous. What would I talk to these people about? Are they going to ask me how long I've been in recovery? Even being slightly dishonest kills me, so I found myself being the most extroverted I've ever been as I quickly found a seat and played busy. The meeting was the most high liturgy experience I've had in a while. Reading the same thing week after week, almost computer generated responses from people...maybe this wasn't the meeting for me.

I was most struck by hearing people introduce themselves as, "I'm _____, and I'm an alcoholic." They actually say that. As if they are identified by nothing more than their addiction. Some of these people have been in recovery for 20 years, and they still have to say they are an alcoholic. They never reach a milestone where they can stop saying that. They are always in recovery. I hated that. After 20 years, can't they just be Joe, or Molly? I was really surprised how even after the meeting, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I'll be praying for those people. I don't remember the names of any of them, but I carried them with me last week, and will likely do the same this week. By the time I let my sadness go for that group of people, I'll have to go to another meeting and will enter the cycle again. Proud of those in recovery. Praying for those who still struggle with their addiction.

chapel gone wild!

Incase you missed chapel yesterday or today, something crazy is happening. Crazy awesome. The furniture, the style, the formality, all changed. It's an awesome change. One that had people emotionally connected to worship, wiping tears, participating, and worshipping today in a new way. Here's a preview so you can see what I'm talking about. You can view the whole service in its experiential goodness online.

BlogTalkRadio w/ Andy Root now posted

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This afternoon I sat down with Andy Root and talked about his new book The Promise of Despair: The Way of the Cross as the Way of the Church. The book offers a serious push back on both those of us in this emerging church conversation and those who critique the movement out of claims that its too nihilistic. No, says Andy root, the emerging church doesn't (yet) go far enough! It should more fully embrace the nothingness, the void, the death until we can name God in that place. God is found in the Crucified Christ. So, check it out, post some feedback, send it to your mom (I am...) and all that.

Posted via email from curatingthejourney.org

Lent

Lent,
We're almost half way through it already. How did that happen?

I've been finding myself comparing this season with the same season from a year ago. There are some measurable differences. A year ago, I was up to my eyeballs with school work, taking Systematics with Dr Sponheim and Pentateuch with Dr Schifferdecker. Both very heave work loads. In addition, I was preaching a lot at that time (if memory serves me I preached on 3 different occasions during Lent as well as catching Easter morning as my week at the country church. Work was nuts, and not in a good way as I recall.

In other words...I was the mayor of Stress City.

I've come to call this the "Lent Effect." One of my pastors pointed this idea out to me during this period last year. I still remember the conversation.

"How's it going Scott?"
"You want the church answer or the real answer?"
Extended conversation about the massive level of stuff I was stressing over...
"It's Lent right, and you're preaching Easter Sunday right Scott?"
"Yep"
"Do you think Satan likes that?"

LIGHT BULB MOMENT!!!

We went on to discuss this for a while. Here's my take on the "Lent Effect." Easter is the greatest day in the church year (in my opinion anyway) because that's the day that Jesus won and Satan lost. As I like to say...It's on like donkey kong. On Easter, we celebrate the victory over sin and we proclaim it. And that has to make Satan angry. So (again in my opinion) he is going to do everything in his power to keep us from getting to Easter.

I find it ironic that the season that I enjoy the most (Lent) is also one of the most stressful and difficult ones to endure. Maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment?

However, enough background. Back to this year. Admittedly, this year has been less stressful, though not entirely without issues. Schoolwise, we're in week 5 (again, how did that happen). We aren't quite half way through the semester yet. Getting close, but not quite there. Work is work, and that's all I'll say about it. I guess the kicker at the moment is that I'm getting my usual spring cold. Its starting to warm up and the 29 feet of snow that we got this winter is starting to melt away. How am I rewarded, with the sniffles...oh joy of joys.

But enough crabbing on my part.

Easter is coming...a few more weeks and we get to claim VICTORY!!!!

That's worth smiling about.

are you kidding me?

Have you ever had it happen when your parents did something super unexpected, maybe bought something strange, took a wild trip, or even wore something that made you question who they were? I had a "mom, what in the heck?" experience this weekend.

My mom decided to come up to the cities sort of last minute for some dress shopping (the mother of the bride hunt has begun!). She got here Saturday afternoon, and after settling in to my room, casually said, "I have to show you something I got for Valentine's Day." She pulls this little black case out of her purse and displays her new Amazon KINDLE! Oh my goodness. Perhaps the most technologically challenged person I know is sporting a Kindle! I about passed out. I definitely don't love reading as much as she does, so would much rather spend the money on a new piece of camera equipment or something, but I'll admit, there was some wild jealousy at this new toy. Amazing. She proudly told me the first book she purchased on there was The Bible for 99 cents. She said, "I figured since without God I wouldn't have this Kindle, I better buy The Bible first." Totally cracked me up! Wouldn't it be sweet if it was one of the FREE books on there? If anyone knows a rich donor who can make this happen, let me know. No one should have to pay 99 cents for a Kindle version of The Bible.

Andy Root on BlogTalkRadio w/ guest Tim Snyder (hey...that's me...weird).

Last week was a jammed packed schedule: Doug Pagitt guest in our Young Adult Ministry class, Kenda Creasy Dean on campus for the Aus Memorial Lectures, and then Mitri Raheb from Palestine all day on Thursday. I'll get around to reflections on those this upcoming week. But first a shameless plug:

Tuesday I'll be sitting in with Andy Root (Assistant Professor of Youth & Family Ministry at Luther Seminary and author, Relationships Unfiltered) on his LiveBlogRadio Show. It starts at 3:30p (CST) and its just a short 15 minutes of focused conversation around a chapter of his newest book The Promise of Depair: The Way of the Cross as The Way of the Church. If you've listened in before, you know how rich these conversations are, and if not you'll be pleasantly surprised (I hope...if I don't ruin it). The format of it is fascinating to me and has all kinds of wild potential...

Really though, "the promise of despair"? Sounds kind of dark...and it is. Look, I've read a lot of books about re-thinking church, about how what we need is a church that embraces the cultural realities of this millennium, of this generation. Those books are good and I actually agree with them (for the most part). But Andy's book wrestles with a God that would dare to meet us in the darkest place -- death. Death as in "gone forever/in the ground-and-not-coming-back-dead" but also death as in dying -- the loss of jobs, bills piling up, children in addictions, relationships broken and lost, dreams not met and loneliness suffered. What Andy and I will be talking about is nothing short of an invitation to imagine the church birthed out of that promise...the promise of meeting God in the deep sufferings of the world. The conversation is much deeper than organizational structures, engaging our new global, media culture, and re-framing old theological questions for a new day (as important as those may be), and it goes to what we know about the heart of God.

My guess is that it will be a challenging, honest, and raw conversation. That's my hope anyways. So please if its been a while since you've had one of those kind of conversations, listen in at 3:30pm. There's a number there...you can phone it and join the conversation. Of course it will be posted there afterward if you can't make it but still want to engage the conversation. --- Pax! TKS.

Andy Root on BlogTalkRadio:

Posted via email from curatingthejourney.org

LiveBlog Radio w/ Andy Root.

Posted via email from Our Second Home

Spring Optimism

March feels like the beginning of the year to me. This spring brings me a fresh start. I have not been able to do much since the turn of the year. Circumstances, usually beyond my control, have forced me to take some sort of a break to rest, though more often than I would have liked. I guess the body, sometimes, gets to a point where it must rest, whether one wants or not. Even though I have generally taken good care of myself, I have gone nonstop for the past good number of years, without a proper break: from heavy duty missions work in Central Europe to doing an MA in England while working full time, and then connecting straight to the PhD at Luther.

But this one has not been an eventless break. I have managed to attend several conferences, one in session right now. We have helped plant a Vineyard church in Saint Paul. Tameika has clocked seven months now. And above all, my wife has taken her BAR exams in New York last week, after which we had to drive back from New York to Minnesota, as flights were cancelled due to a snowstorm in the Northeast. To our wonderment, we arrived to melting snow in Minnesota! (Foreign lawyers are allowed to take the BAR exams only in NY and CA).

The conference that I am attending this weekend is for the Society of Pentecostal Studies. Yes, there goes the P-word ... again. Having sat through several sessions at Luther in the past three months that had no kind word for Pentecostalism whatsoever, one of them a very good demonstration of ignorant arrogance, I began to wonder if at all, Pentecostalism has a place at the table of ecumenism. (If not, it means excluding over 25% percent of world Christians from the conversation!) This is my first SPS conference, and I have seen a part of American Christianity that I had no chance to see before, one whose existence I was remotely aware of. I am glad I decided to attend. There is always great wisdom in listening, even to those that others think don't deserve an ear.

God's Hands

Aside from family, the two gentlemen from the funeral home were the first people we saw after my mom died (they had been called by the hospice nurse which was the first call we made).

These two men—who came because their job was to remove a body from our home—came dressed in suits and beautiful, tailored, wool winter coats (it’s interesting the things you notice). They were somber and quiet. They didn’t rush in, pack up the body and leave because they had somewhere better to be. In fact, while they did indeed arrive in a hearse, they didn’t bring anything in the house with them to indicate why they were there. Instead, these kind men greeted the family, asked about my mom and shared their sincere condolences.

After making sure that we were indeed ready to have them take my mom, these men returned with a gurney and a body bag (which wasn’t black, by the way). My mom had been in a room attached to our living room, separated by French doors. Most of the family stood outside of the room and watched while these men worked.

For some reason, I watched their hands as they worked. Before moving my mom, they wrapped her in a clean, white sheet. Ever so carefully, they tucked one side of the sheet under my mom. While talking to my brother—who was in the room with them—they carefully slid the sheet between my mom and the blankets she had been under. Gently they rolled it under her, wrapped the blanket around her and moved her to the gurney. Not once were they rough with my mom’s body. They didn’t throw the blankets off—it would have made everything easier, but would have also exposed her—and they didn’t toss her onto the gurney. Instead, their hands were so gentle. They were God’s hands.

(By the way, thank you all so much for your kind words. This is such an amazing community to be a part of.)

Aus Lectures

Did you get a chance to get to the Aus Lectures on Tuesday or Wednesday? One word sums is up: AMAZING! I'm taking a class with Andy Root right now, he's relevant and real, so I'm not surprised his mentor/teacher Kenda Creasy Dean was equally awesome. Her sermon today in chapel was the first sermon (in a long time) I actually heard every word of. Not to mention, today was a Wednesday, which typically means choir, hymns. There's very little change on a Wednesday. Don't get me wrong, I love hymns, even sang in choir in high school and college, but there seems to be very little room for creative elements and alternative music on a Wednesday. Friday...maybe, but not at a communion service. Well, there was a GUITAR there today. Two solo songs sung by a guest worship leader (visiting for the conference--what a great way to make use of the gifts of a visitor) with a GUITAR! I about died when he walked up to sing. I thought I was dreaming. Not sure who made this happen, but feel free to let me know so I can come shake your hand with gratitude.

Back to Kenda. It was awesome to see someone who isn't stuck on the escalator helplessly shouting for help (to use her metaphor). She climbed her way off of that stationary beast a long time ago and is making strides toward answers, solutions, and relational dynamics that will shape how we interact with young people and their parents in the future. Did you miss all this goodness? Here's the link for yesterday, so you can take in her awesomeness for yourself! Close to 120 other youth workers came to be a part of this 3 day conference, and I tell you what, there was some awesome energy on campus today! So glad we have gatherings that bring alumni and new friends to our campus. It gets boring looking at the same people all year long! Thanks for coming!!!

Former Dean Lull

Last week our fall semester Exercises in Biblical Theology (EBT) class got a chance to meet up with our professors: Sarah Heinrich and Patricia Lull for a homemade supper of chili, breads, and cupcake/cake. It was a wonderful treat to be welcomed into Sarah's home, share a meal together, and most of all, to see Dean Lull. The announcement of her leaving came at a ridiculously sucky time in January when most students were either a. in another country on cross cultural, b. home visiting family, or c. traveling. I especially felt as though it was a bit unfair she left when she did, because I never got a proper chance to say goodbye to someone who had mentored and inspired me for close to 4 years. Let's just say this supper was just the "goodbye" from her life at Luther I needed. Not to say I won't and don't miss her terribly around here, but seeing her so positive and optimistic about her future put a smile on my face. I hope it brings a smile to yours as well!

Death

I’ll be honest. I’m glad February is over. Hands down, it was the worst month of my life. Last Monday, my mom died after a short yet ferocious battle with breast cancer. Her funeral was Friday.

I’ve never experienced death this close. I’ve never had to help plan a funeral and deal with such profound grief. I’ve never had to sit by—utterly helpless—while my father faces a loss bigger than I can imagine. I’ve never had to hold my child as he cried over the loss of someone truly special to him. I’ve had to start living my life constantly on the verge of tears as I find myself thinking, “I can’t wait to tell my mom about this…” and realizing she’s not there to tell.

In my upcoming Life@Luther entries, I want to share the places in this experience where I have seen God at work after my mother’s death. It won’t lessen my grief. I will still probably spend a long time living on the verge of tears as my family and I adjust to the constant missing presence in our lives. But I think it will help. Thanks for being my sounding board.

Concord Online

Lots of hard work goes into each issue of the Concord. Student, staff, and faculty writers, photos, serious issues addressed, questions asked, and a little humor from time to time. This month's issue is one the stranger covers I've done, but it got a few gasps and laughs. Enjoy.

http://www2.luthersem.edu/concord/pdfs/2010_02_24_Concord.pdf

Define Irony

Last week the discussion group in my Hebrew class got started talking about irony in Biblical narrative.

Ironically, this is not the point of this posting...unless you count irony as a point.

Allow me to explain, because I think I even managed to confuse myself there.

I was attempting to make a witty introduction to something that I found somewhat ironic that happened yesterday, and admittedly I made a pretty poor showing.

Please have grace for me...we are Lutherans after all.

I was enjoying my normal Sunday afternoon rest time yesterday (sabbath...I am a fan). Amazingly, for the second day in a row, both kids were actually sleeping. This NEVER happens. If we get one nap out of my son (the older of the two) in a weekend, we are doing pretty well. However, yesterday he had actually konked out as well.

My wife and I were laying around being lazy, when all of the sudden I heard very heavy footsteps clunking up onto my front deck to the door, and then a half second later the doorbell clanged at least twice. Of course, it seemed extraordinarily loud.

My wife answered the door to find that we were receiving hand-delivery of our census survey.

I don't recall receiving the 2000 survey in a hand delivery, though I was still in college at the time. A lot of water has gone under the bridge since that time. Maybe it was hand delivered...although I don't think so.

Anyway...here's ironic situation #1. The lady delivering the letter had an accent. I can't even place the accent. It might have been eastern European, but don't quote me on that. Honestly I couldn't place it. Somehow, receiving the US census survey from an immigrant struck me as ironic. But don't get me wrong, not ironic in a bad way. Honestly, I think it speaks to the greatness of the USA that our government offers opportunities to all.

Go USA...you rock my face.

Speaking of the survey, I didn't do it right away, because of course the loud doorbell as well as the lady's abnormally loud voice woke the kids up, and they both came trucking out of their rooms pretty quickly. The short one came out just in time to see the census lady walking down the street to the next house.

Side note...it was cold yesterday...I hope she didn't have a very large area of deliveries to make.

Fast forward a few hours until the kiddies went to bed, and I filled out the survey before tackling homework. Here we find ourselves approaching ironic situation #2.

It occurred to me that I was filling out the census information the day after my big community context paper was due for RTA. One of the aspects we looked at in terms of community context was changes in the demographics of the community between censuses. As the 2010 data is not yet available (obvious considered the activity I was currently partaking in), we utilized the information from 1990 and 2000. Only 10 years outdated, but hey, you use what's available to you. Somehow, I think that section would have been more applicable in about 6 months or a year, but that's just me.

Long story short...as I was filling it out, a movie quote went through my head. Harnessing my inner Adam Sandler...

Information that would have been helpful YESTERDAY!!!!!

Perhaps I'm the only person that will appreciate the irony of the a fore mentioned situations. If so, I can live with that.