Once Again

We've hit that time again...book order time.

I have no idea where July has gone. It seems like I just submitted my final posting for my summer class about 2 days ago, but its been almost a month already. That means that the fall semester is rapidly approaching.

On a whim, I logged onto the bookstore's website to check and see if the fall book lists have been posted yet. Sure enough, they are. Now typically, I tend to wait until I get the syllabus from the professors, or in the very least an email with the book lists before I make my order, but this time around I decided to take a risk and trust that the lists on the website are correct. Mainly because I've got a vacation coming up that could potentially put a monkey wrench in the works.

The past couple years, I have been on vacation during the first week of August. This leaves me with 3 weeks after returning to get my order in and have the books shipped to me. Plenty of time. However, this year, vacation is a week later than normal. Namely, I'm not off at the end of today, but I have one more week left before I head out for a week of no responsibility.

For some reason, a 2 week window seems to tight for me (as opposed to a 3 week window). I think its likely that the emails from professors will start going out over the course of the next week or so, but in the off chance that they don't show up until I'm gone, I wanted to get the order out of the way.

So I logged in a little bit ago, put together my book list, and shot an email off to the bookstore. If things go as normal, I'll likely get a book either in the mail or by UPS at some point next week.

We've still got a month before class starts...but here we go again.

Make Up Work, Better Late Than Never

Sometimes we keep records that we don't even realize that we kept.

I got an email yesterday from a parent checking up on a class that their daughter started but didn't complete. As I was the teacher for said class, I was the go to person with the question. I started my research at the church yesterday, looking through the attendance sheets in the confirmation file. As it turned out, the student in question took a portion of the class (2 of the 5 class periods) back in the spring of 09. This was far enough gone that we didn't actually have the attendance sheets, only a list that indicated that she needed to make up 2 periods worth of homework to get credit for the class.

I emailed the parent back to have her ask the student if she could remember what religions she remembered sitting in on (as the class is World Religions). I got a reply back a little while later with an idea, but not a sure thing.

So then last night after doing some yard work, putting the kids to bed, and starting up laundry, I sat down at the computer to try and figure out what to put together...a year after the fact mind you...and something I was a little frustrated about...but better late than never I guess. As it turns out, I had the attendance lists on the laptop at home...not quite sure how that happened, but it did. Based on that, I was able to figure out which class periods she had missed. It turns out she missed Christianity, Judaism, and Islam.

So my brain started sparking off and I had a plan. I listed out the questions that I normally cover for each religion, and since she only needed to do 2 of the 3, I utilized the answers for Christianity as an example to help guide her research. I was pretty proud of myself. It came together very nicely and after about 15-20 minutes of work (pretty minimal if I say so myself) I had her make up work ready to go and I emailed it off.

Today I got a reply back saying that I forgot to attach the homework.

Figures.

Its Official

Well, its official.

Yesterday was my interview for the CPE program that I've been looking at. Honestly, interview isn't even the right word for it. It was really more of a meeting to discuss the program and to meet/greet the supervisor.

My program is centered in Cherokee, IA, the same place as the program that I nearly took a year ago. There wasn't a lot different about this time around, although it is a different supervisor than a year ago. This was the main reason for me to go meet with them. Essentially (from what I garnered during the meeting) I was already considered "in the program." This made the interview a whole lot easier...and short. It takes me about 70-75 minutes to drive there from home, so not drastic in terms of travel time. However, in the desire to be punctual, I left about 15 earlier than I really needed to, which got me there about a half hour ahead of schedule, but that was okay.

Admittedly, I was pretty nervous on the drive down there. Not quite sure why, but I was. It's funny how God knows just how to smack me upside the head when I need it though. As I was driving, I was listening to a Christian radio station called the Refuge. My signal was getting a little spotty as I drove, and I was about ready to pop in a tape (yes, I still have a cassette player in my truck) when all of the sudden the signal got crystal clear and the song "Walk on the Water" by Brit Nicole came on (here it here). Listening to the song pretty well turned off the part of my brain that's been so hesitant about this whole deal...Yep, I hear you God.

Getting back to the interview itself...as I mentioned, it went fine and lasted all of about 20 minutes. After that I sat and talked with the program organizer (and also my main contact over the past few months) about the logistics of the program itself and then I was on my way. All in all I was in the building for about half an hour and then I headed for home.

With my acceptance into the program, the next step was to takes steps to discuss the next few months with work. I had a phone call with our manager this morning, and we are planning on me taking a leave of absence from work during the course of CPE, which will last from the tail end of August till the first week of January. Then I'll go to campus for my normal two week intensive, returning to work at the end of January or beginning of February.

In addition, I also swung out to the church today and had a very brief (in the neighborhood of about 45 seconds) meeting with the pastor and church administrator, formally accepting the position of interim lay minister.

So, I guess this whole deal is a reality now. Now maybe I can stop worrying myself about it...and just go do it.

Struggling to Let Go

Discernment can be a tough thing when the answer is staring you in the face, but you're too scared to admit it.

My wife and I have been praying very hard lately, listening very carefully to try and determine what is the best way to proceed regarding my work during the upcoming fall semester. If you've been reading my postings, you know that I have CPE pending and that I'm approved to do my clinical work at the church...half time.

As I mentioned in my last posting, I'm really struggling with trying to figure out whether to continue working in my full time job and also do the work at the church (plus classwork and an attempt at a family life), or if I let the full time job go. I'm having a very hard time letting go and trusting that God can provide for us (my family and I).

Yet, as I look back, I'm amazed at how God has provided opportunities for me to move forward. In high school, I was "anti-church." I wanted nothing to do with it. Then the site director of a local Bible Camp made a passing comment to my dad (who worked at a lumberyard that supplied the camp) that he needed someone to work part time through the summer. I got the job and that was when God turned my life around. Then when I was discerning going to seminary, my wife and I attended a yearly conference at Luther Seminary where, for the first time, they had a table discussion about the DL program. That is what opened the door for me to pursue seminary for the last two years in the format that I have followed. Now, CPE is staring me in the face at a time when the church needs help and is in a position to offer me compensation for the work that I will do.

Additionally, it seems that everything that my wife and I see/read/hear in our devotions or in sermons or in conversations tells us to trust God. I read a Bible called Seasons of Reflection. It has the Bible broken down into daily readings involving Old Testament, New Testament, and Psalms or Proverbs. It seems like every reading from Psalms is telling me to trust and let go. Yesterday, my wife's devotion was Matthew 6:28-34. This section of the Bible is entitled "Do Not Worry." Jesus tells us to look at the birds and the flowers. They do not work yet God feeds and clothes them. Then today, my morning devotional reading talked about the rich young man that Jesus told "sell everything and follow me."

I don't want to say it, but I think I know the answer to this question. I just need to let it go. I need to remember the saying that several of my classmates keep reminding me of. "Let go and let God." I don't need to have it figured out. God's got it figured out. Trusting is not about figuring out all the answers, its about believing that God's already handled it.

God told Abraham "Go, I'll tell you when you get there." Abraham said okay.

Maybe its time that I do the same.

A Computer Virus Gets Me Pondering

Have you ever gotten a computer virus? They are annoying aren’t they? I write this with computer virus frustration very pressing. My computer at work was infected with something a few weeks back and I’ve been fighting it ever sense. I keep running my anti-virus software…it seems like it takes care of the problem and I get back to business… for a while. But then it comes back. No matter what I do, it just keeps coming back.

Have you ever noticed that when God starts talking to us, it resembles this situation? That’s been my experience. I think back to my personal period of discernment regarding going to seminary to become a pastor. I picked up the notion somewhere and it lodged itself deep in my brain. Every once in a while it would pop up. I would ponder on it, deal with each occurrence, thinking that would take care of it. But just like the pesky virus that is wreaking havoc with my work computer, the notion just wouldn’t go away.

Now, we all know how that little “virus” has turned out don’t we? I recently finished up my summer class and with the credit that I received from that class; I’m now a Middler. In other words, I’ve officially reached my second year student status at Luther Seminary. Honestly, I’m surprised at how quickly these two years have gone. I’ve also been very blessed with the support that I’ve received while going through this seminary journey. I have been encouraged and challenged in ways that have helped me to grow both in my personal faith as well as in my pastoral identity.


The new "virus" that keeps coming up on me right now deals with the decision of how to proceed over the course of the fall. Namely in terms of my current job. After Monday's interview, I will know whether or not I'm officially doing CPE this fall, though I'm pretty certain that I already know the answer. Last night, the congregational president called me to ask if I had any questions regarding the offer for this fall, which I didn't. I told her that things are really contingent on the interview as far as me officially accepting the offer.

As exciting of an opportunity as this is for me, it leaves me in a bit of a quandary. The question becomes what I choose to focus on. Do I continue in my full time job, and continue with school/ministry outside of regular work hours? Or do I let my full time job go and keep my focus on ministry and schoolwork? I’ll be honest; there are pros and cons of both choices. Just like my process of discernment about beginning school in the first place, this one just keeps coming back up on me. I’ll admit that I’m a little stumped at the moment.

I’m excited to see what the next few months hold. I’m humbled and grateful to have the opportunity to serve the congregation. Finally, I’m scared to see the potential for change looming on the horizon. Maybe I should just start with a deep breath.

Be back soon...

hi. I've been in the middle of a busy summer filled with seminary courses, travel and settling in to a new work gig. Over the next three weeks I'll be traveling for both work and on behalf of the seminary and so I won't be blogging at all. Since that leaves a month between posts I thought I'd post this and say..."Tim is not here right now...but will be back soon. So, check back in mid-August and I'll be posting then."

cheers

Tim

Posted via email from curatingthejourney.org

Cooking and a Really Big Meeting

So last night, Mr Mom duties included me cooking. I'll admit it, the two previous nights, I slacked. Got pizza. It was awesome. But last night I had the time, and apparently the ability...so I made enchilada's.

And for some reason, I felt the need to document it visually.

Step 1-Brown the hamburger...93% lean...just add salt and pepper...proper seasoning is important.Step 2-Add the sauce (yes it is out of a can, there are limits to what I can do) and cheese...mix into warm gooey goodness.Step 3-Spoon the gooey mixture into the tortillas and wrap them up. Step 4-Cover with sauce and more shredded cheese to create wonderful coloration...and epic amounts of gooey-ness.Step 5-Cook at 375 for 18 minutes...warm melty goodness.Step 6-Chow down.

It was great.

However, in other news, actual important news. I met with the trustees board last night to discuss CPE this fall, as well as the future beyond that. I felt pretty good about the meeting. They seemed very open to the possibility, but with the dust still flying around following our big vote a few weeks back, they are hesitant to commit to much.

I understand that. I really do.

But long story short, I talked about my situation coming up as well as the discernment that I'm doing with moving into ministry or into full time school, which they appreciated hearing. We talked about things for awhile, all in all, I was there for about an hour (though we weren't discussing me the entire time) and then I headed out.

We had laid out a time table, and I said that really, things are contingent on my interview for CPE coming up on the 26th, but really, that's more of a formality. But I said that it would be good to know their decision by the first of August so that I have enough time to make plans.

I left not expecting to hear anything right away. I thought it could easily be a couple weeks before I heard anything back. I got home and talked to my wife about the meeting. After that I sacked out for a bit, figuring that I would be going to bed pretty early. Then the phone rang. The trustees offered me half time compensation for the duration of CPE.

This is a good thing...It was more than I expected, though admittedly less than I had hoped for.

Now the decision becomes whether or not to let my job go and focus on school stuff. Or do I continue working and kill myself for a few months? And what about January...what happens then?

Long story short, I was, at that point, wide awake and my mind was going crazy. Of course I couldn't get a hold of my wife at that point. But I needed to talk to someone, so I got a hold of my brother and just vented for awhile. It wasn't coherent, and it wasn't organized. I just ranted.

We talked for awhile about things and he ended up telling me "You're called to something bigger and you know it." That was huge for him to say, and it meant a lot. It helped me feel a lot better about things too.

So, now I'm one step closer. But things are really on hold until my interview in a week and a half.

Deep breath.

Mr Mom and Some More Discernment

I mentioned in my last post that my wife is gone on her yearly service trip. I usually get a kick out of the various responses that I get from people around home when they find out she's gone. There's one that tends to annoy me when I hear it, but the frequency with which I hear the question does strike me as humorous.

"Who's taking care of the kids?" This question is multiplied this year as my wife's mom is also on the trip. People ask me that and I just have to stare at them blankly for a brief moment.

HELLO!!!! RIGHT HERE!!!! I am their dad. I am capable of taking care of my kids.

It strikes me as significant though, because it just goes to show how much this country (and in particular the older generation) is still stuck in the mentality that mom takes care of the kids...period. This is no longer the case. I won't go into a big sociological rant here though. I'll spare you that.

Welcome to the 21st century. Things have changed. Dad's are pretty hands on these days.
Actually, the funny thing is that stuff tends to happen that makes the time go fast. This week is no exception. Last night we headed over to my parent's house as my mom's cousin and uncle were in town and came over for a visit. Before they arrived, I was talking with my parents about how long it had been since I'd seen either one of them. I last saw Mom's uncle Easter of 06, right before my daughter was born. Mom's cousin, on the other hand was more difficult to pin down. The last time I could recall seeing her was years ago...many years ago. In fact, I was probably only about 5 or 6 at the time. I was wrong about that though. She pointed out that she had been at my wedding, but that's still been 9 years.

Time flies I guess.

The rest of this week will likely go pretty quick as well. In addition to working like normal all week, I have golf league tonight. Tomorrow night I have a meeting at the church (more on that in a bit), and Thursday we've been invited to supper with my pastor and his wife (who are both empty nesting as well with their boys out of the house or on the service trip with my wife). Then Friday night, my wife comes home.

We'll be so busy that we won't even notice that she's gone...well, okay, that's not true. But it will still go fast. In fact it reminds me of June when I was on campus for the week. They were super busy that week. That just makes time go really quick. Its funny how fast a week can go, but how slow two weeks seems to go.

In other news, I mentioned last week that I'm discerning about the future...that's still happening. Last Wednesday, I met with the Deacons board at church to discuss this fall. As I've mentioned before, I'll very likely be doing CPE with my clinical work at the church. The question at hand was if they would support me doing my work at the church. I felt pretty good while sitting in the meeting as both the congregational president and one of the deacons commented that I'm in a good place at a good time to offer pastoral aid to the congregation and support the (now) lone pastor. In the end, they did give me their blessing to pursue CPE at the church, though they did not make any comment as to the possibility of continuing past CPE for a longer amount of time. So that's still up in the air.

Tomorrow night, I meet with the Trustees to discuss the same situation. This time we will discuss whether or not I will be compensated for the time that I will give the church. This is not a make or break decision as to me doing CPE there, but it would be a great benefit if they would. But we'll have to wait and see. It will also be interesting to see if they will be more open to discussing a long term situation, or if they too will want to limit it to the duration of CPE. We'll have to see.

So for the time being, its still business as usual. Granted, there will be some big decisions to start making over the course of the next few weeks, but for right now, I don't need to decide anything yet. I plan to take advantage of this lull in the action to pray and listen. That and do my best to trust that...in fact...God's got this.

Deep breath.

A Busy Weekend

Its been something of an eventful few days. Friday morning, my wife left on her annual service trip with about 35 youth and adults. This leaves me in what I tend to call Mr Mom mode. All in all, its not a bad thing. Things tend to go fine, especially during the week. I go to work and the kids go to day-care so throughout the course of the day, its business as usual. The only real difference is that I'm alone with the kids during the evenings, but they go to bed early (about 7:30 or so) so I've got the evenings to myself.

The time when we really notice that mommy is gone is during the weekends when we are together all day. This weekend has been no exception, but so far, as of Sunday afternoon, we have survived. Friday night we went to the video store and rented some movies. After the kids went to bed, I sat down to do a little bit of prep work for church for the weekend. I was filling in for the pastor to give him a week of from preparing a sermon. I had the sermon ready to go but needed to work out a few logistical things for the Saturday night service.

As is my normal custom, I tend to stay up too late when my wife is gone. Not sure why I do it, but I always seem to. You'd think I would learn that the kids don't care how late I stay up. They are going to be awake early. Saturday was no exception. They both got up and around before 7am, and we all sat around for a little while. However, I went to work after a bit as the lawn really needed mowing. As that was in process, I discovered that a Firefighter Parade was happening in the morning as opposed to at noon as I originally thought. But fortunately I finished up the mowing at just the right time and the kids and I went next door to watch the parade from our neighbors yard. I had to make about three trips back to the house for different things...first lawn chairs...then bags for candy...and finally for hats to keep the sun out of our faces...but then we sat and enjoyed the parade of various firetrucks from surrounding communities. To explain the parade, its in honor of my towns 100 year anniversary.

Late afternoon, my mom came over to hang out with the kids while I headed out to church. Our music guy is also off this weekend but we had a special guest. Dr. Tim Schmidt, a music professor at Waldorf College in eastern Iowa. He is a fabulous musician despite being legally (but not completely) blind. The Saturday night service went very smoothly, and I was pleased with the result. Afterward I headed home to have some supper. I got the kids ready for bed and once they were in bed I once again did my prep work for this mornings 2 services.

The first service (in the summertime) is a drive in worship. We've been doing it at our church for eons, but this was my first experience preaching there. I've helped with the service before but this was the first time I've been in the pulpit. Mom and Dad had come over to keep the kids and had actually managed to get the parking spot directly in front of the stage.

I preached from the text including the Parable of the Good Samaritan. I focused on our personal connection to the man who is beaten/robbed within the parable and as an example, I highlighted the fact that I had to accept help a year ago when I nearly drowned. It occurred to me as I was in the pulpit, looking out and seeing my parent watching me through the windshield, that they didn't know that story. I had never told them. I guess sometimes when preaching, we have to lay out things about ourselves don't we?

All in all the drive in went fine, other than Dr. Schmidt knocking his glasses off at the end of a particularly vigorous song. But that was our only main hiccup. From there I headed back inside for the regular service. Again, things went well in this service, with one pretty major exception. Dr. Schmidt had a microphone stand set up right in front of him and also had a light over his music to help his limited eyesight. About midway through the service, I noticed that the mic stand was dangerously close to falling off a step. I thought very strongly about getting up and moving it, but I was not in time. It fell over, dragging the reading light with it.

The light was trashed, so I had to think fast. Dr. Schmidt was playing a song that he has memorized next, so I went on a quick "safari" to find another light. Fortunately, I was able to find one, and the next time he needed the light, it was there. In the end, we rolled with the punches just fine and everyone got a laugh out of the situation, so no great worry.

Several people paid me the compliment of saying that I appear very relaxed when leading worship. I guess I play that card well, though my brain is constantly going. I'm watching everything...the power point, checking the order of worship, wondering if things are going okay in the sound booth, etc. All these things are rattling through my mind with one exception. When its time for the sermon, I am able to quiet my mind.

I recently read an article about pro athletes having the ability to shut off the outside world. Namely, they can block out things that would distract them and then just focus on what they are doing. I think I do a touch of that same thing when preaching. I remember several times when a mom with a young child will come up and apologize for how loud the child was during the sermon. Most often, I didn't even notice. The same thing happened today as well, but once again, I didn't even hear the disruption. I did see her get up and walk out with the baby, but that was just fine.

If you're curious, you can hear my sermon here. Go to the link and look at the right side of the page...you'll see a list of recent sermons.

All in all, things went well with leading worship this weekend. No one even had to throw anything at me...unless you count the light that went flying through the air.

Things for the Future

Things on my mind today. Curiosity about the future is the main thing...although curiosity isn't really the right word. It might be better to say that I'm stressing about the future. My very human mind is trying to understand/plan for what I feel that God is calling me to.

Allow me to elaborate. Those of you that have been following my little rants know that I'm currently a DL student. Taking classes online from home and traveling to campus a couple times a year for a couple weeks at a time to take intensive classes. This has been a great experience for me so far. It has allowed me to continue working and not uproot my family for a move to St Paul. For the past two years it has been manageable and has worked very well.

However, each time I've gone to campus, its gotten harder and harder to come back into the grind. A month ago I had conversations with several of my classmates about this situation. They commented back that they think I belong in the academic lifestyle...aka, they think I should go full time.

I've been thinking the same thing for awhile as well, so it didn't come as a great shock to me. Additionally, I've also been feeling called into beginning ministry work now, while still doing DL. To explain, the difficulty that I feel right now is a desire to move into ministry as opposed to working in the private sector as I do now. That could be in a full time ministry setting or it could be going full time to focus on seminary.

The opportunity may be presenting itself. I've mentioned before that I'm expecting to do an extended unit of Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) this fall. As I look at the requirements for the program, it will involve me doing approximately 15-20 hours per week of "clinical work." This clinical work can be based in a congregation which is what I'm hoping will happen.

My home congregation is actually in a unique situation now, having recently lost our associate pastor. This provides a unique opportunity both for me as well as for the congregation. I am able to help fill that void and the congregation is able to offer me a setting in which I can fulfill my CPE requirements.

The kicker becomes available time. As I mentioned, right now I'm working full time...40 hours a week. I do contextual work (at the church) though this would fold into the clinical work (and so is a bit of a moot point). I also do my online classes, which pretty well fill up the evenings during the week for me. Add on top of that something of a family life and I'm wondering how I'm going to manage to shove in another 15 hours a week. I suppose I could stop sleeping, but I'm already short on that as it is.

And so I'm discerning. Is is time for me to quit working and focus on ministry? Can I do so? Will my family make ends meet? The questions are endless. But at the same time I keep hearing "I've got this...just trust me." So I'm trying my best to trust and see if the pieces will all fall into place. Maybe waiting to see if the pieces fall into place isn't really trusting...but I'm trying.

In other news...today is registration day for the fall semester. We register online, and its really a pretty simple format. Log in, click on registration, click on the right semester, type in the class code numbers...done. Registration opens at 7:45 so by about 7:47 I had it all done. I get a kick out of registration day because there are several different attitudes within my cohort towards registration. Some of us want to get it done right away...others take their time.

Obviously I fall into the "get it done" category. Another one of my cohort members does the exact same thing. I think we both stare at the clock and the second registration opens, we log in. I've gotten in the habit of looking at the available seats in classes and if any of them are taken, I shoot her a text along the lines of "I see you've registered already." Then we banter back and forth for a bit.

Today was no exception.

Some of my classmates have keyed into the fact that I'm Johnny on the spot in terms of registration. A year ago, one of the guys was going to be gone on a fishing trip and he asked me if I would log him in and register for him. I said sure...it wasn't any huge deal to do so. Today, that same situation happened again. One of my other classmates shot me a text a little while ago and asked if I could register her and she is out camping with no available wi-fi. I said sure so she called me up and I knocked out her registration as well.

I'm starting to see a trend here. Weird.

In terms of registration, I'm went ahead and registered under the pretense that I won't be working this fall, allowing me the opportunity to do CPE and still take 2 classes. Throw in the mix my contextual requirement (which will piggyback my clinical work for CPE) and I have 4 things on my registration list. They are:

Clinical Pastoral Education-Extended (which basically informs the seminary that I'm taking it)
Teaching Congregation and Community-contextal requirement in the congregation
Lutheran Confessional Writings-a study of just what it says
Prophets: A Survey- a study of many of the Old Testament prophetic writings

Confessions is the one up in the air right now. If I continue working while doing CPE, I'll be dropping it and only taking Prophets. But that all remains to be seen. It will be interesting to see how things develop over the course of the next 6 weeks.

Percolating

This week I'm on duty, preaching at church for all of our weekend worship services at my home church. I always enjoy preaching, but admittedly, its been awhile since I've done it. For a time, I preached at least once a month, but since the beginning of the year, that has gone by the wayside and as I think back, Ash Wednesday was the last time I preached. Time flies when you're having fun...or in this case, when someone else is preaching.

But long story short, I sit here, Wednesday afternoon, about three-quarters of the way through the preparation process. Here's how it works in Scotty's world. Sunday I read the lectionary texts for the week. It usually takes me a bit of percolating (as I call the mental process) before I decide which individual reading the Spirit is leading me to, but I usually have that done by sometime on Monday. Late Monday and into Tuesday I will read the entire book that the scripture is taken from (ie, this week I'm preaching from Luke, so I read the entire book of Luke). This is a technique that I picked up in my preaching class with Karoline Lewis and Gracia Grindal during my first intensive back in January of 09. After I've done that, I start taking in some commentaries on the passage, and also listen to the Sermon Brainwave pod cast on the working preacher website. These start to give me ideas to focus on the text...but then the Spirit needs to do some more guiding in my...sometimes...very thick brain.

I'm still in this point now...still percolating...but the coffee is starting to smell good in my mental pot.

In other words...I'm about ready to start the next step...writing the sermon itself. That usually happens on Wednesday or Thursday during the week. Once its written, I let it sit overnight and then I come back to it. I head to the basement where I preach it a couple times to thin air...usually while pacing around the basement...I don't stand still very well...unless there's a pulpit in front of me. During these practice sessions, I tweak what I've written...add something here...delete something there...twist a few words around to make them sound better.

This is my process. I like the process, but I do get frustrated when writers block catches me. This often happens on Wednesday. I feel like I should start writing...but the Spirit won't let me. Sometimes I have to wait.

The longest I ever waited...something I'm not proud of...happened last fall. I was slated to do a nursing home service on a Sunday afternoon. Writers block stayed with me all the way through the week...though to a certain extent it might have been self induced. I had some old sermons that would have worked and I kept telling myself that I could use one if I needed to. Finally, between church Sunday morning and the service which was at about 3 in the afternoon, I manged to write the sermon...I don't like letting it get that close though.

But anyway...now that I've spent the time writing this about my process...maybe its time to continue the process.

I'm going to open Microsoft Word now...and see if I'm able to get any farther along than "Grace and peace to you from God our Father and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ...Amen." That's still my go-to opening line.

Weekend of the 4th

Well, another holiday weekend has again come and gone, but as a whole, this one was pretty good.

I was able to do some celebrating this weekend, and not just in honor of our country's independence. Friday about half way through the day, I finished up all of my work for my summer class. It was a day later than I had hoped for, but it still happened. About 11:15 Friday morning, it was finished...and I was happy. So this weekend was in celebration of my completion of a class, the school year, and my classification as Junior (although that one won't be official until grades are submitted).

The original plan for the weekend was to go camping with the in-laws, but as my wife and kids were all in various stages of recovery from colds, we decided that it wasn't a good weekend to be in a tent, so we called that off on Friday and stayed home from the camp ground.

Instead of camping, Friday night we headed down to a local hotspot, Arnold's Park to start taking in the massive crowds that descend on the Iowa Great Lakes on the 4th of July weekend. We started with "world famous" nutty bars, which are basically ice cream bars dipped in chocolate and peanuts. From there we walked across the way to the main dock that shoots out into the lake to see the boats. At this point there weren't many, but we knew it would pick up on Saturday. Along the way, we paused so the kids could pose with the statue of "Captain Steve," who was a very influential figure in establishing the tour boat industry in the last 30 years on the lakes.It is of interest to note that Captain Steve (obviously in the middle) was stolen from the base a few years back, but finally he was returned last summer, and regained his spot between the two children. I always thought it was a little odd that they just had a statue of two kids there. I didn't know that there was a third figure until the news reported that he had been returned...little bit of history of the lakes there for you.

Saturday started off very nice. We could tell that the weather was going to be good through the day, although the weatherman was predicting clouds moving in later in the day. We started off by taking a trip to a local farmers market that my wife has always wanted to visit. I'll admit that we weren't overly impressed by what we found there, but we are still in the middle of the growing season. Maybe things will be more impressive in another month or two when gardens really start producing something.

From there we headed out to another local hot spot to do some mini-golfing. Our kids are obsessed with mini-golf. The place we went to also hosts a flea market on holiday weekends, so of course it was a busy place and we had to park a good quarter mile away from the place. We made our way through the crowd and once we walked into the main building, I remembered that this location didn't take debit cards. So my wife and kids stayed there while I walked back to the car and buzzed back into town to grab some cash out of the ATM. Fortunately it was a quick trip. I was only gone for about 15 minutes.

We played a very heated game of mini golf. My wife got the lone hole in one, but in the end I emerged victorious. It was a good time and from there we headed home to grab some lunch, and after that we started playing with the water in the backyard. It started off with the kiddie pool and the slip-n-slide.


The kids thought they were firemen in this picture. Notice the two person teamwork on the hose. A very professional technique. Though I don't have it here, there is also a picture of me sitting in the pool with my daughter. She thought that was hilarious. And it was a nice way to cool off on what was a very hot day.

After the water fun, people started getting a little tired, and so we all konked out for a few hours (which was awesome at the time, but caused some pretty major insomnia for me later that night). My brother was supposed to come up as he was home alone for the weekend, but work got in the way for him and he had to bow out.

We fired up the grill and cooked some steaks, and I have to admit that I did a pretty good job on them. Often times, my grilling skills are somewhat limited, but those steaks were pretty good. So good that I even ate a second t-bone that was originally intended for my brother. His loss I guess. After that we rented some movies to finish out the evening.

Sunday we got up and went to church in the morning, but then we had a fairly low key day. I think everyone was pretty tired and honestly, things got a little testy around the house, but we all got naps again. My brother did come up later in the evening. We grilled again and also had a fire out in the backyard fire pit. The weather stopped cooperating and we had a brief rain shower. Not overly heavy, but enough to send the wife and kids back inside. My brother and I stayed out in the rain watching the fire and fortunately we had a pretty good spot under a tree and didn't get overly wet.

Once it started getting dark, we headed up to the ball fields, which are only a few block away and offer a nice open view towards the lake where they shoot off the fireworks. We sat around for a bit waiting while the mosquitoes got a nice snack. I'm still itchy today. The fireworks gave us a good show, but my brother and I agreed that the roughly 5-10 second delay in between the explosion and the sound reaching us detracted just a little bit from the experience, but it was still a good time.

Yesterday became a fairly lazy day. The kids just played around the house through the morning while my wife and I did some cleaning and laundry. But then the in-laws called and asked if our daughter wanted to go to the store with them. She did, so it was just the three of us for most of the day (as she also had lunch and took a nap at their house). My son and I played the Wii for awhile as well as playing catch in the backyard for awhile. I got to thinking that it was a nice day for some golf, but I figured that every course was still going to be busy. Instead, I took him out to a course where I used to work and we hit some balls off the driving range for about an hour.

After that we headed home again. We were there for a little bit by ourselves (wondering where my wife was at) until I remembered that we were having supper with the in-laws. So we headed down the street and ate supper and wrapped it up with blueberry cobbler and snow cones.


All in all, it was a good weekend. Next on the agenda, summer time...no school for about 6 weeks. But I'm doing some discerning. More on that later.

aaron strumpel & dirty shovel digging in again

...and it's even deeper this time around.

It's hard to believe I've been following Aaron Strumpel as a musician for seven years now. But it's even crazier to think that it was four years this summer that Aaron began investing in me as a mentor and friend. I woke this morning to some new music in my inbox. Aaron and his notorious Dirty Shovel Records has produced two brand new EP's — both created in stand-still moments of time. These three-song EPs were written in a single afternoon capturing the fragile, beautiful and dynamic present moment...a contemplative prayer as an album.

There is a tenderness in the water of the heart, a vulnerability of sanity, a mere film separating joy and sadness...these songs were written on an afternoon when everythin
seemed to close in, beauty felt like ashes, when all that was left was to sink deeper and deeper... — from Bright Star EP (June 25, 2010)

Aaron's been diving into the psalms for years now. I suppose he'd depart from them if there was another, better witness to the complexity — decidedly framed by lament and joy — of life with God. But there's not a better place to find the fullest range of spiritual expression and Aaron has somehow captured the paradox of the Psalmist's form and the deepness of his/her cries.

Waves and words wash through the Psalms as they take their time to soak into hearts...it’s as if they combine patience and force in a perfect relationship for destruction and renewal...these songs were written in an evening using a beat up 1940’s parlor guitar with a humbucker screwed to the soundhole...and the instrument makes its voice known in the creative process, framing thoughts and words and prayers already buried within. — from Going Fast EP  (July 2, 2010)

 This preview song, Going Fast, has been on loop since I first heard it earlier this morning. It's my morning prayer today.

Download now or preview on posterous

Bright Star Press Release.pdf (99 KB)

Download now or preview on posterous

Going Fast Press Release.pdf (122 KB)

Going Fast by Aaron Strumpel  
Download now or listen on posterous

03 Going Fast.mp3 (5222 KB)

Posted via email from curatingthejourney.org

01.02.2007 | empty.

This morning I was pouring through my journal from my trip to Nicaragua in 2007. My journalling was particularly contemplative on that trip. It was my third day in the country when I was reflecting on this quote from Fr. Richard Rohr, a Franciscan priest...

When we are nothing, we are in a fine position to receive everything from God. That's where we stop living out of other people's response to us. We can then say, "I am 

not who you think I am. Nor am I whom you need me to be. I'm not even who I need myself to be. I must be 'nothing' in order to be open to all of reality and new reality.  — Richard Rohr, Everything Belongs.

 

 

Posted via email from curatingthejourney.org

On the Verge

The text in the picture may be a little hard to read, but right under the heading "Coursework" it says "You submitted your assignment at 11:05pm, Wednesday, June 30, 2010."

At 11:06pm, I was doing a little dance, but I'll let your mind form that image as there were no pictures of the dance itself.

The reason for my joyous celebration is that the assignment is my last big thing to complete for the school year. I'm on the verge of being complete with class work until September. On the verge, but not quite done. Yes, this paper represents the last big task, but I do still have one posting left to do. The final responsive posting to the final reading assignment for my class is still pending. I have the reading done, but the leading post for my group has not been submitted yet. It will come around at some point today (actually I should look to see if its been posted in the last hour...give me a sec...nope, not yet). Once its up, I need to formulate my response to it and post it up and at that point...I will be complete.

Its been quite the school year. In a lot of ways it has been very good. I've learned a lot this year and I've had many good experiences. On the other hand, the year has been difficult and I struggled with a lot of stuff...pressure, stress, lack of sleep. Many things contributed to me having a bit of a breakdown last January. However, sometimes we have to consider those problems as water under the bridge and just move on from them.

That is my plan for today. At some point today (or possibly this evening) I will hit "post" and then its truly going to be celebration time. I'll be celebrating things on several levels, which I will outline:

1. The end of a class-every class that I complete brings me one step closer to ordination, which is of course, the goal of this whole seminary journey. This has been a good class, one that I have enjoyed, but it has been quite a bit of work over the course of the last month.

2. The end of a school year-This marks the end of my second school year since beginning back in the fall of 2008. Both years have presented their own challenges as well as creating their own rewards. A year ago I finished for the summer a little bit earlier. The final task that time was a conference call with one of my professors and two of my classmates that involved a discussion regarding classwork/readings. It occurred about the middle of June last year, so this year I am a couple weeks farther along, however that merely reflects the different structure of this particular class. Either way, I'm looking at about a month and half off before starting classes again this fall.

3. The end of my Junior classification. Once this class is graded, I will have earned 10 credits towards graduation. This is the cut-off between Junior/Middler. In laymen's terms, a Junior is a first year student, and a Middler is a second year student. However, being half time, it would make sense that it took me two years to get to this point. I consider this a bit of a milestone in my seminary journey and one that I'm pretty excited about.

So in retrospect, I've got several things to celebrate as this class comes to a close.

I just checked the postings again...still waiting...Blast...