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Addictions. I am taking this class with Gary Wilkerson and learning a TON about drug and alcohol addiction. One of the requirements for class is to attend four AA or NA meetings. I got a chance to attend one last Tuesday. Earlier in the day, my mom asked me, "What do you have going on tonight?" I said, "I'm going to an AA meeting." She started laughing at me, not knowing I'm taking Addictions class. I don't drink, so I guess I understand her amusement. Showing up at the site made me a little nervous. What would I talk to these people about? Are they going to ask me how long I've been in recovery? Even being slightly dishonest kills me, so I found myself being the most extroverted I've ever been as I quickly found a seat and played busy. The meeting was the most high liturgy experience I've had in a while. Reading the same thing week after week, almost computer generated responses from people...maybe this wasn't the meeting for me.

I was most struck by hearing people introduce themselves as, "I'm _____, and I'm an alcoholic." They actually say that. As if they are identified by nothing more than their addiction. Some of these people have been in recovery for 20 years, and they still have to say they are an alcoholic. They never reach a milestone where they can stop saying that. They are always in recovery. I hated that. After 20 years, can't they just be Joe, or Molly? I was really surprised how even after the meeting, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I'll be praying for those people. I don't remember the names of any of them, but I carried them with me last week, and will likely do the same this week. By the time I let my sadness go for that group of people, I'll have to go to another meeting and will enter the cycle again. Proud of those in recovery. Praying for those who still struggle with their addiction.