Mr Mom and Some More Discernment
by Scott Dalen
I mentioned in my last post that my wife is gone on her yearly service trip. I usually get a kick out of the various responses that I get from people around home when they find out she's gone. There's one that tends to annoy me when I hear it, but the frequency with which I hear the question does strike me as humorous.
"Who's taking care of the kids?" This question is multiplied this year as my wife's mom is also on the trip. People ask me that and I just have to stare at them blankly for a brief moment.
HELLO!!!! RIGHT HERE!!!! I am their dad. I am capable of taking care of my kids.
It strikes me as significant though, because it just goes to show how much this country (and in particular the older generation) is still stuck in the mentality that mom takes care of the kids...period. This is no longer the case. I won't go into a big sociological rant here though. I'll spare you that.
Welcome to the 21st century. Things have changed. Dad's are pretty hands on these days.
Actually, the funny thing is that stuff tends to happen that makes the time go fast. This week is no exception. Last night we headed over to my parent's house as my mom's cousin and uncle were in town and came over for a visit. Before they arrived, I was talking with my parents about how long it had been since I'd seen either one of them. I last saw Mom's uncle Easter of 06, right before my daughter was born. Mom's cousin, on the other hand was more difficult to pin down. The last time I could recall seeing her was years ago...many years ago. In fact, I was probably only about 5 or 6 at the time. I was wrong about that though. She pointed out that she had been at my wedding, but that's still been 9 years.
Time flies I guess.
The rest of this week will likely go pretty quick as well. In addition to working like normal all week, I have golf league tonight. Tomorrow night I have a meeting at the church (more on that in a bit), and Thursday we've been invited to supper with my pastor and his wife (who are both empty nesting as well with their boys out of the house or on the service trip with my wife). Then Friday night, my wife comes home.
We'll be so busy that we won't even notice that she's gone...well, okay, that's not true. But it will still go fast. In fact it reminds me of June when I was on campus for the week. They were super busy that week. That just makes time go really quick. Its funny how fast a week can go, but how slow two weeks seems to go.
In other news, I mentioned last week that I'm discerning about the future...that's still happening. Last Wednesday, I met with the Deacons board at church to discuss this fall. As I've mentioned before, I'll very likely be doing CPE with my clinical work at the church. The question at hand was if they would support me doing my work at the church. I felt pretty good while sitting in the meeting as both the congregational president and one of the deacons commented that I'm in a good place at a good time to offer pastoral aid to the congregation and support the (now) lone pastor. In the end, they did give me their blessing to pursue CPE at the church, though they did not make any comment as to the possibility of continuing past CPE for a longer amount of time. So that's still up in the air.
Tomorrow night, I meet with the Trustees to discuss the same situation. This time we will discuss whether or not I will be compensated for the time that I will give the church. This is not a make or break decision as to me doing CPE there, but it would be a great benefit if they would. But we'll have to wait and see. It will also be interesting to see if they will be more open to discussing a long term situation, or if they too will want to limit it to the duration of CPE. We'll have to see.
So for the time being, its still business as usual. Granted, there will be some big decisions to start making over the course of the next few weeks, but for right now, I don't need to decide anything yet. I plan to take advantage of this lull in the action to pray and listen. That and do my best to trust that...in fact...God's got this.
Deep breath.
"Who's taking care of the kids?" This question is multiplied this year as my wife's mom is also on the trip. People ask me that and I just have to stare at them blankly for a brief moment.
HELLO!!!! RIGHT HERE!!!! I am their dad. I am capable of taking care of my kids.
It strikes me as significant though, because it just goes to show how much this country (and in particular the older generation) is still stuck in the mentality that mom takes care of the kids...period. This is no longer the case. I won't go into a big sociological rant here though. I'll spare you that.
Welcome to the 21st century. Things have changed. Dad's are pretty hands on these days.
Actually, the funny thing is that stuff tends to happen that makes the time go fast. This week is no exception. Last night we headed over to my parent's house as my mom's cousin and uncle were in town and came over for a visit. Before they arrived, I was talking with my parents about how long it had been since I'd seen either one of them. I last saw Mom's uncle Easter of 06, right before my daughter was born. Mom's cousin, on the other hand was more difficult to pin down. The last time I could recall seeing her was years ago...many years ago. In fact, I was probably only about 5 or 6 at the time. I was wrong about that though. She pointed out that she had been at my wedding, but that's still been 9 years.
Time flies I guess.
The rest of this week will likely go pretty quick as well. In addition to working like normal all week, I have golf league tonight. Tomorrow night I have a meeting at the church (more on that in a bit), and Thursday we've been invited to supper with my pastor and his wife (who are both empty nesting as well with their boys out of the house or on the service trip with my wife). Then Friday night, my wife comes home.
We'll be so busy that we won't even notice that she's gone...well, okay, that's not true. But it will still go fast. In fact it reminds me of June when I was on campus for the week. They were super busy that week. That just makes time go really quick. Its funny how fast a week can go, but how slow two weeks seems to go.
In other news, I mentioned last week that I'm discerning about the future...that's still happening. Last Wednesday, I met with the Deacons board at church to discuss this fall. As I've mentioned before, I'll very likely be doing CPE with my clinical work at the church. The question at hand was if they would support me doing my work at the church. I felt pretty good while sitting in the meeting as both the congregational president and one of the deacons commented that I'm in a good place at a good time to offer pastoral aid to the congregation and support the (now) lone pastor. In the end, they did give me their blessing to pursue CPE at the church, though they did not make any comment as to the possibility of continuing past CPE for a longer amount of time. So that's still up in the air.
Tomorrow night, I meet with the Trustees to discuss the same situation. This time we will discuss whether or not I will be compensated for the time that I will give the church. This is not a make or break decision as to me doing CPE there, but it would be a great benefit if they would. But we'll have to wait and see. It will also be interesting to see if they will be more open to discussing a long term situation, or if they too will want to limit it to the duration of CPE. We'll have to see.
So for the time being, its still business as usual. Granted, there will be some big decisions to start making over the course of the next few weeks, but for right now, I don't need to decide anything yet. I plan to take advantage of this lull in the action to pray and listen. That and do my best to trust that...in fact...God's got this.
Deep breath.
posted by Scott Dalen at 9:00 AM
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