Robert Fulgham and Carrie Bradshaw Fistfight in Heaven, or, How I Learned to Shut up and Enjoy the Sweet Stylings of Katherine von Bora

Did you know today is the 19th anniversary of the release of the seminal classic, "Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten?" Published on September 25, 1989, Robert Fulgham's coffee-table-occupying book, a warm cup of cocoa with loads of marshmallows on top, now sits on the shelf among other American literary classics like Chris Crutcher's "Stotan," myriad Hardy Boys novels, the Bible, and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio's unauthorized autobiography, "Whatever Happened to Career after that bit as Maid Marian?"

In honor of what may one day come to be known nationally as "Fulgham Day," I present my own little ditty of sage advice gleaned from another American classic, "Sex in the City."

"Everything I Needed to Know about Seminary I Learned from "Sex in the City":

1. It's good to have one friend who is always getting a lot of hot action. By hot action I mean time at their study carrel in the library's 7-Mile High Bookstacks.'

2. Who needs to actually make a living at their vocation (me: preaching; Carrie: writing) when a hot so and so, one might refer to as "Mr. Big", with a high paying job can subsidize your shoe buying habits--Thanks for being my "Mr. Big", Nat!

3. It's good to try out numerous bed partners before you settle on just one. That's why I keep three volumes at my bedstand: "The Concise LW," Calvin's "Institutes," and the latest John Grisham novel (this one is about a young, principled law school graduate caught between his ethics and the lure of unscrupulous partners at an unspecified southern law firm)

4. The numerous meetings for dinner, lunch, drinks, apertifs, drinks, breakfast, and drinks drive home the valuable lesson that Koinonia is truly the important matter at the Lord's Supper.

5. When writing papers whilst seated atop your king size mattress wearing undergarments it is best to lean thoughtfully over your Mac ibook, occasionally allowing your inner monologue to take the lead. Usually, this session will end with a wittily observed, thoughtful reflection paper.

6. Sometimes it's nice to drink up the cranberry (in your cocktail) and other times it's nice to suck on the green (olive in your martini) but the red (dress this year) is out of fashion and the black (olives from the can) has never even come across my plate.

7. City-dwelling, upper-class, white princesses are sophisticated. Country folk are stupid. Don't let this tidbit come out during your endorsement interview.

8. Heels and brimmed-hats mandatory for daily chapel.

Don't forget to pick up Fulgham's new book, out next week from Random House, "Something Trite: My High School English Teacher Taught Me that I Could Never Remember."