Anticipating Normalcy Soon

Hello friends. It has been a while since I posted a blog about my adventures as a seminarian. In recent weeks my life has consisted of school—work—studying—sleeping and repeating this cycle Monday through Friday. Weekends have been study—cook—“house cleaning” (the kind that
would not pass Momma’s white glove test)—study—church—too brief conversations with loved ones (you have to call or they get worried).

Truth is, there has not been very much life activity that is blog-worthy. Unless friends, you want to read about the unusually hectic end of the year activities at work. Or I could write about the very silly gestures and mnemonics I developed to help me remember Hebrew vocabulary. (Hey, you do whatever it takes.)

My normal life has been and still is on hold. Instead of doing what I normally do this time of year, I have made lists of things. I am anticipating normalcy soon and I want to be ready to do the special things I do this time of year. So I have lists of:

• organizations to which I want to make donations before the end of the year;
• old and new friends to whom I want to send Christmas cards;
• cookies and candies I want to bake before Christmas (gingersnaps, eggnog snowmen, peppermint surprise brownie bites, and orange chocolate cookies–the 2008 Minneapolis Star Trib winning cookie);
• gift ideas for loved ones; and
• items to pack for the trip to my hometown to celebrate Christmas with my family .
  

In the midst of these days¸ I have looked forward to (and quite honestly been desperate for) experiences of worship that ground me. Worship is the one time during the week when I refuse to be in a hurry or get distracted thinking about work or thinking of lists. I look forward to worship all year to be a break from ordinar time. I especially look forward to worship during this holy season. I had a wonderful worship experience last Sunday with a dear friend and mentor who is a United Methodist clergy woman. I arrived at the church where she is pastor and as soon as I heard the prelude and gathering music, I knew I would have the experience of worship I desired and needed. In the service she prepared for the second Sunday in advent, she deftly balanced the themes of anticipation and preparation to meet Jesus Christ on one hand and the anxiety of whether we can adequately prepare ourselves to meet him on the other.

This theme was woven all through the service and especially in the unison prayer. I conclude my blog post with a bit of the prayer and hope it helps ground you too:

“Gracious God. It happens every year. I think that
this will be the year that I have a reflective Advent. I think
that this will be the year that I will not have a million things still
undone in my life. I look forward to new Advent and Christmas season,
Jesus. But all around me are the signs rushing me to Christmas and
some kind of celebration that equates spending money with love and success.
I need your help. I want to slow my world down. This year, more than ever, I need Advent, these weeks of reflection and longing for hope in the darkness. Jesus, this year, help me to have that longing. Help me to feel it in my heart and be aware of
the hunger and thirst in my own soul.”