How (Not) To Teach 8th Grade Confirmation
by Anonymous
Maybe earning points during quiz bowls for your small group contradicts our Lutheran theology, but it keeps them awake and engaged. Maybe I shouldn't be throwing chocolate as rewards, but at least it's fair trade chocolate. Maybe I need to stop using buzz words that get 13 year olds off track like "cults" or "Lucifer" or "nephilim". (I can't help it though...there's tons of cool stuff in the Bible I never learned in confirmation!)
I'm filling in for one of my pastors on sabbatical and doing my best to keep chaos at bay. It's not pretty, but I think they're learning a thing or two.
Last night I tried to break the myth that the Bible is a fun book to sit down and read all the way through like a novel or Harry Potter. That doesn't sound like a fun Friday night to me and it shouldn't worry them that it doesn't float their boat either.
Instead I explained that the Bible is like a scrapbook or a newspaper with many different authors, settings and writing styles. I gave examples of each: family trees, conversations, stories, advice, songs, history, etc. When I asked for an example of rules written in the bible, they defaulted with the Ten Commandments. Correct, but they looked bored.
"Ten points to the first group that can find a rule in the bible about how to be kosher when pooping in the woods. I think it's in Numbers or Leviticus." The boys lit up and bibles flew open. You could almost hear them thinking, "Poop in the BIBLE??"
Mistake #129. There were still 7 minutes of large group and I just lost them.
By the time their parents arrived to pick them up, everyone was still looking. "You have until Christmas...don't hurt yourselves," I told a crew as they ran through the rain to a minivan. Later last night I checked my email and found a message from one of the confirmation students:
Dear Ms. Herrick, 
After looking through many pages of strange laws about which birds not to eat, and how to identify lepers, I finally found the pooping laws in Deuteronomy 23: 12-14. I promise to bring a trowel along when I go camping!!!
After looking through many pages of strange laws about which birds not to eat, and how to identify lepers, I finally found the pooping laws in Deuteronomy 23: 12-14. I promise to bring a trowel along when I go camping!!!
He signed his whole name and his small group, ensuring the ten points. I got the giggles, both because someone called me 'Ms. Herrick' and because he spent all evening wandering through Numbers and Leviticus before finding it deep in Deuteronomy.
I'm making a lot of mistakes so far and I'm learning more from them than they are from me...but if I've done one thing right, maybe it was telling them about poop in the Bible.
posted by Anonymous at 11:37 PM
6 Comments:
So, of course, I had to go grab my Bible look up those verses! Thanks for the laugh, Meta!
There's a story about Elisha sicking a mother bear on some smart-mouthed kids that is a great story to have under your belt for future confirmation classes. (2 Kings 2:23-24)
Throwing in a random thought here...
anyone of you want to comment on these thought about our Seminary?
http://www.sarcasticlutheran.typepad.com/
Might be an interesting conversation..Also Prof. Hess has a link to this on her blog.
Thanks--Hilary
Please keep the strange bible stories coming! I need all the help I can get. :) I'd forgotten about momma bear in 2 Kings - thanks!
Meta - hello from a stranger in Seattle. My name's Erik, a fellow Ole, and music director for Cross of Christ LC here in Bellevue (suburban Seattle).
I came across your blog/this story while searching for readings to use at a Reformation Hymn Festival. If you'd be so kind, I'd like your permission to excerpt it.
I hope to hear back from you. Email is
erik.cofc@gmail.com
Many thanks. E
That's hilarious. I too am teaching confirmation. I'm still in the discernment process, and until a year and a few months ago, was officially still a Catholic although I've gone to Lutheran churches on and off for 10 years and consistently for the past 2 years since I got married.
I shared with the students that I CHOSE to be Lutheran and they just loved that and had so many questions, because of course at this time in their lives they don't necessarily feel they have a choice.
Unfortunately, that also lead to parents questioning the pastor as to how fit i am to lead confirmation.
I guess these are the things i will always have to face, but remembering that the kids really connected with me and asked me faith related questions and had intelligent conversation about their personal beliefs makes it worthwhile.
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