A lot to be thankful for…

It was nice to have a whole week off for Thanksgiving. At first, I felt sort of like Lisa Simpson on the episode when the PTA goes on strike and school gets cancelled. She doesn’t know what to do with herself without the structure of school and having homework to do, so she starts inventing projects and insisting the Marge grade her for nothing. I wasn’t quite that bad, but it did take me a few days to get out of “school mode” and ease into having a whole week just to do normal life stuff, especially since I don’t actually travel anywhere for breaks.

Last Monday I made a visit for my Pastoral Care class—an 85-year-old woman who spent 40 years as a missionary nurse in Pakistan. I enjoyed hearing about her experience in a part of the world that is difficult for Americans to enter today. While it was sad to hear that most missionaries have now left Pakistan, it was encouraging to look at her photos and think of a time when people from the US could build mutual relationships with the Pakistani people and share daily life and ministry. I left this visit feeling like I received more from this woman than I was able to give her.

On Tuesday, I finally had the opportunity to catch up with a friend from Luther that I hadn’t seen in awhile. She is an international student, and I realized again how much I can learn from others’ experiences, including the great sacrifices people make to be able to study and prepare for ministry. She also taught me how to make Southeast Asian tea, which I should have learned on my study abroad in India, but now I finally had my chance to try it out.

The rest of the week was quite normal—a quiet Thanksgiving at home with my parents and brother, cleaning, doing laundry, catching up with friends—all the “normal” stuff that often gets put on hold during the busier parts of the semester.

Then my week ended on an unexpected note—I had to take my dad to the emergency room Friday night because he had severe kidney pain. The good news is that of all the possibilities of what could have been wrong, the doctors discovered that the problem was a small stone that should pass through on its own. We were all thankful for the hopeful diagnosis. I am also thankful to be reminded of what’s important in life: people. I brought my pastoral care book to the ER because I didn’t know how long we’d be there. As I sat at my dad’s bedside, he saw the book, and jokingly told me that now was the time to try out what I’m learning. That’s when I learned that the most important aspect of care is often just being with someone, even if you don’t say a word.

Thanksgiving

Somehow, I find it ironic to be sitting here writing a blog. At times, it almost feels like another assignment that gets added to the list (sometimes, not every time). This week, being Thanksgiving, is of course sans-assignments. Needless to say I'm very thankful for this. After 11 weeks of semester...I'm ready for a week off.

My wife's youngest sister lives in Northern Virginia, just across the river from Washington DC. Everyone except me (which includes my immediate family and the whole set of in-laws) has been out to visit. This year it was my turn.

So, Monday, following my normal day of CPE classwork, I got in the car with my wife, my daughter, and my wife's dad (my son had gone earlier with the other car) and we headed east. We left at 4pm. I drove the first leg, which got really long. While driving, I added some new states to my list that I've visited. By 5am Tuesday morning (yes I was still driving at that point), I had driven into Indiana and Ohio. At this point...namely the west side of Columbus OH, 13 hours of driving and 800 miles did me in. I'd been up for almost 24 hours at that point and I handed off the driving privileges to dad in law.

I slept for a broken 2 hours, during which we got the rest of the way across Ohio. Then I woke up as we shot across the north finger of West Virginia and into Pennsylvania. I took over driving again, and five hours later we had gone through Maryland and into Virginia to arrive. Long drive, but we made it.

Yesterday we traveled into the city. I was hoping to see "the Mall" but only managed from a distance. We did go to Arlington National Cemetery though. That was really amazing. It is indescribable to walk amongst the many graves...to see the many monuments. I saw JFK's grave, which was a high point. But for me, the greatest thing, and the most compelling was the tomb of the unknown solider.

We arrived at the top of the hill just in time to see the changing of the guard. And then we sat there and watched the new guard walk his steps back and forth in front for a few minutes. I sat there with my daughter in my lap and some tears in my eyes as I thought of the many brave people that have given their lives for my freedom and at that moment I was honored to be an American. I have never worn a uniform, and very likely I never will, but it is my hope that I am able to offer something to those that I will serve as a pastor.

Its certainly different. No doubt there. But that is my hope.

Home.

I've always thought of home as a fairly fluid place. Wherever I felt loved and could truly be myself--that was home. I've had many homes over the years, especially since high school. I've been away from family or friends for months at a time, but these past few months have been different. Neither my wife nor I have any friends or family in Salem. Of course, we have a new church family and have some family about an hour away, but it's not quite the same. Please forgive my whining, but I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss home.

That's why this week is extra special. My wife and I have flown home to the Midwest. We're splitting our time between Grand Forks, ND and Minneapolis, MN. We're spending time with family and friends--recharging our "home meter." Nevermind the cold, the travel time, the cost, and the busy-ness--we are happy to be home.

As fast as this week is going, I'm making a point to slow down and appreciate the fleeting moments and feelings of home. Here a few favorites, so far:
-sitting on the wooden floor of my parents' kitchen while petting the family dog
-watching friends play video games, sharing our concerns and laughing at the future
-dinner at my family's favorite restaurant...and the unavoidable food coma that follows
-warming our bodies and hearts over $1 Grain Belts at Old Chicago
-filling a whole afternoon with lunch and a teeter-totter of memories and dreams
-enough kind words, warm smiles and big hugs to last a lifetime...or at least the rest of the year

Thank you for indulging me in my sappy post.
I pray that you all (if there is anyone reading) might find a place where, or group of people with whom, you feel at home. As the sky grows dark and the air turns cold, it is the gift of 'home' that will sustain us.

J-term time!

This has been a week of revelation! I realized that I had to apply for a J-term course (again with a lot of courses that are not available in Sweden, and I want to take.) That there is no "doom Sunday" in the church year of ELCA (instead you have "Christ the King Sunday") and Thanksgiving is something much greater here in the US then I originally though. What I am going to focus on this time around though, is my concern when I was about the apply for the J-term.

What should I choose? One of those intellectual and interesting courses, one of those super-practical courses where you go away to another city, something in between or something I never would chose otherwise? That made me once again think about the differences between seminary in Sweden and seminary in the US (see the post "my impressions so far part 2" for more info. Jenny's post about "making theology practical" also came to mind). When I think back to my fellow students at seminary (and myself) I sometimes feel like we are removed from reality and put into the small world that is the seminary and the people we meet there. The returning question for me has always been "how do I get a wider perspective?" Going to abroad (to the US) for a year to study certainly helped widen my perspectives and I got to see a whole different system on how to study theology! When I look at the pastors (primarily those in Sweden), the main issue does not seem to be that they feel or seem removed from "reality," rather the opposite. Many of the pastors I have met seems to be removed from theology! Now how can this be? Do they get too much of it at seminary and then forget about it? Or do they think they have gotten enough of it to last for a lifetime? (I have to admit that I even I feel like that sometimes.)

What I like to think is that seminary is a time for learning, preparing and laying the foundation for my theology and what I am going to do. Internship and doing practical things from time-to-time helps as a reminder to what I really am studying for. And that is what I think many pastors fail to do, making theology practical both in theory and in practice. Seminary does not alway help with preparing for what is to come when you are a pastor. But you can use seminary to help you to prepare for what is to come. Thus my final choice for J-term was a course that was both theoretical and practical!

Finding the Future

I’ve been reading a book for my pastoral care class called “Hope,” by Andrew Lester. It seems obvious that hope is something everyone needs; yet as the book says, it is something that is often not addressed in caring for others. He talks about attending to the “future tense” of our lives, which is a necessary part of hope. For many people who are suffering, the issue is not just the painful thing that happened in the past, but how that trauma disrupts a person’s envisioned future. To help people heal, the author suggests, we need to help people see that their future story is still a possibility, or help them to imagine a new future.

I have several friends who have gone through divorce recently. One of them is watching her second marriage fall apart. She told me that what devastates her most is that now her dream of raising her child in a nuclear family with both biological parents living together can never happen. Her envisioned future has been shattered. How can we help people like her imagine a new future, a good future?

Again, I am reminded of my Jeremiah class. Last week we talked about the famous verse, 29:11, that is often on graduation cards: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Sure, this can be comforting to someone in a normal life transition who faces some future uncertainties. But its real impact comes in recognizing that this exhortation was written to people in exile. They had hit rock bottom. Their envisioned future was crushed, and this promise didn’t mean they were going back to their beloved homeland. God promised to give them a new future, right where they were, in exile. Out of tragedy and destruction, God imagines a new future for us, even when we can’t.

As pastors, leaders, and Christians, I think our role is to help people who hurt imagine a new future in which the pain of their past experience is not the last word; a future that may not looked like they imagined, but still fulfills some of their core longings.

Last year, the pastor that I had ministered with for a year in Mexico City passed away unexpectedly from cancer. His wife, only about 45 years old, grieved the loss of her husband and ministry partner. What still inspires me is that instead of thinking that the ministry they had built ended with her husband’s death, she took over as pastor. Perhaps she never saw herself in this role, but with God’s guidance, she is able to continue the vision she shared with her husband and do the one thing he would have wanted her to do: keep sharing the Good News that God redeems our disrupted futures.

Give to the Max

I've been thinking about stewardship a lot lately. It's the time of year when letters arrive from churches asking for help with next year's budget. My home church is embarking on a building campaign. Not because the church wants to grow and make the facilities more awesome, but because the building needs a new roof and brick work along with other maintaining repairs. The church I work for is struggling financially and needs financial support to make sure bills are paid.

Today is “Give to the Max Day” in Minnesota. There is an organization, www.GiveMN.org, where people can donate to Minnesota non-profits. They are all officially recognized non-profits. While the Web site accepts donations every day, there is a push for a special day of giving today (as of this writing, there were over $2 million in donations today). There are special donations, matches, prizes for donations today, Nov. 16.

Giving money has been challenging for me. My husband and I are paying for school, have a mortgage, three kids and all that comes with a house and family. I’m not great at remembering my checkbook on Sunday mornings (something I’m finding more true as I work in the church). I do give a lot through in-kind donations (purchasing supplies for an event/activity and not asking for reimbursement). But I would like to be more active in my giving. God has provided for me. No, cash hasn’t magically appeared when I face a crisis (would that be great?). I have still had to face financial difficulties. But I haven’t been alone during these difficult times, ever. I have been blessed with an amazing family and community of friends who have supported me when I haven’t been able to support myself.

To start this giving, I am going to donate to GiveMN today. I haven’t decided if I will donate to Luther today (I have also received Give to the Max Day appeals from my college, my son’s high school, Como Zoo and my beloved local library system), and I won’t be donating as much as I wish I could, but I’m going to start giving back.

If you donate to Luther Seminary today (find the seminary’s Sustaining Fund GiveMN page here), all gifts made today will be matched dollar-for-dollar.

Something New

I gave my “Lutheran sermon” yesterday at the church I grew up in. It was quite a special experience. When I spoke with the pastor last week, he mentioned that this church, like many small congregations, is facing the possibility that it may not be around much longer. That is in part why he invited me to preach—he believes it’s important for the congregation to see the “fruit” that has come out of it, even if it ends up closing.

I had some mixed emotions after that talk. It was sad to think about this congregation maybe not being there much longer. Even though I haven’t regularly attended there since high school, it was a big part of my life, and has always supported me. I also felt a little bit of pressure to deliver a powerful sermon, since I’m supposed to be something this church can feel proud of!

Added to that bit of healthy pressure was the interesting passage that came up in the lectionary last week: Luke 21:5-19. What are the odds that my first time preaching at a liturgical church I would get a passage on persecution, destruction, famine, betrayal, etc.?

After a week of prayer and preparation, everything went well. I am thankful that God inspired the sermon, and people were blessed by it. I am also thankful that there is a community of people who support me in following God’s call without reservation, no matter how long I’ve been away. And I’m especially thankful for new opportunities like this that help me to see the reality of ministry in new ways.

Working on this passage about persecution, along with thinking about the tough situation this church is in, reminds me of what we’re studying in my class on Jeremiah. The call to preach God’s word isn’t easy. Sometimes you have to deliver a tough word, to people in difficult circumstances. Sometimes the hope we are called to proclaim isn’t quite the answer people were hoping for. And there are no guarantees as to where God’s call will lead us. Yet through it all God promises to always be with us and sustain us.

I definitely saw that as I stepped into a role a little outside of my comfort zone. I wasn’t familiar with all the ceremonial aspects of the service, and I wasn’t sure if they would be able to find a robe short enough for me (they did)! Yet trusting that God had called me to be there gave me peace and confidence to go through with something a little bit different. I’m glad I did, and look forward to the next unexpected opportunity that comes my way.

In Charge For Worship

There are several things happening at my contextual site right now, or at least there was as this weekend's worship services were approaching.

A side note, my supervising pastor is gone for a two week block. He, along with about 25 other people, is visiting the Holy Land. I spoke to him last Thursday morning (Thursday afternoon for him) and he was in a hotel on the shores of the Seal of Galilee. I was instantly jealous because its the Sea of Galilee...he's walking in the footprints of Christ himself.

Anyway, with him gone, I'm kinda the go-to guy in terms of a pastoral presence...which is fine, but a little bit different for me. The nice thing is that we had additional help this weekend. I've been working off an on for the past couple months setting up a good friend of mine as a guest musician. James Hersch. He actually hails from the Twin Cities, though I met him in southern Colorado at family camp a few years back. This turned out to be the weekend that he came.

Additionally, we had a guest preacher. A local retired pastor, who had volunteered for the purpose of letting me off the hook of preaching two weeks in a row. Both of these guys are a huge blessing and I was looking forward to them being around.

As of Friday, everything was in line. Then Friday night, something detrimental happened. Winter set it. Just before I went to bed Friday night I looked outside and saw that tell tail sign...whiteness.

At that point, I wasn't too concerned, but when I got up Saturday morning, I was a little more worried. It was still snowing, it was cloudy and windy, though the temperature was hovering a little above zero. I went outside and shoveled my driveway, carefully watching the weather. The weather forecaster didn't help any as he mentioned that the path of the weather went right up to the cities.

As the day went on, I was pleased to find out that he was on his way anyway...braving the weather. Then next hurdle that I hit was going out to the church about 2 in the afternoon and finding that our snow removal plans were not yet finalized and there was wet sloppy snow all over. So I spent an hour scooping the sidewalk and car drop off point. (Is that a normal activity for a pastor?)

All that being said, 5 o'clock rolled around and both of my assistants showed up. Worship went great and I took James to our friends house following worship for supper. They had gone to camp with us this past summer and had gotten to know him as well, and it was a wonderful evening of fellowship.

This morning went great as well. Two worship services and he played a concert between times as well. All in all, things went really well...but worrying about everything for two days wore me out.

Let's just say that my Sunday afternoon nap felt amazing.

Preparing a sermon-swedish style!

Hi everyone!

This week two good things happened!
1. We got finally got some snow here in Minnesota!
2. I got to prepare a sermon for one of my classes!

As I mentioned earlier we don't get too much practical or confessional things at seminary in Sweden, (see my post "my impressions so far! (part 2)").

This means we don't get to learn very much about how preach and how to prepare a sermon. Exegetics in Sweden is mostly about how to write an interpretation and/or an academic paper. We do however have one class in preaching, but since it's a confessional thing the teachers had to merge it with rhetorics and communication. Since then I've had one additional non-credit class where I got to prepare a sermon. Sure we've had some opportunities to learn more about preaching, but not to actually prepare a sermon.

I'm very passionate about preaching! For me preaching and prepairing a sermon is something much bigger than me. It is the Holy Spirit working through me and in me throughout the preparation and during the preaching. Thats why I used to say that a sermon is not done until it has been preached!

When it come to the process of preparing a sermon I'm a big fan of Expository preaching. In short it is a form of preaching that that explains in detail the meaning of a text/passage in the bible. The reason I like this form of preaching is that it is not about what I have to say, but what the texts have to say. Or as Paul would say "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness" (2 Tim 3:16). The main purpose of expository preaching as I would see it, is not only explaining what the text have to say, but also to teach and give the congregation the tools necessary to read and understand the bible themselves. Especially in Sweden since most Swedes don't tend to know very much about the bible and rarely reads it (I don't know what it's like here in the US though).
That being said I have nothing against topical preaching, something I also think is very important since it gives an opportunity to raise important topics in the congregation that sometimes is very much needed.

It was very interesting to share my sermon with my classmates in class this week and see how others, from a different context prepare their sermons! I do have to admit, however, that Expository preaching is something thats is very rare in Sweden (it's unheard of in the Church of Sweden) something I hope to change when I enter my ministry in Sweden!

Send Me to Sweden

After reading Mattias’ last post, going to seminary in Sweden sounds quite appealing. This week happens to be one of those in which everything seems to pile up. I have something due in all of my classes, if not two things in some of them, plus a sermon I’m working on. I’m not complaining, just wishing stuff could be spread out a little bit more evenly. The block system is looking pretty good right now, especially since I get really into whatever I am studying at the time.

I guess that is what J-term is about. I signed up to take a semester’s worth of systematic theology in 3 weeks so I could focus on just that subject, but now I’m sort of wondering if that was a good idea. The professor already emailed the syllabus, and it’s quite rigorous, especially considering the subject matter and the short time frame. Yet I do enjoy challenges, and with only 6 people signed up for the class, it will be sort of like private lessons! Besides, what else I am going to do in Minnesota in January?

To completely change the subject (my creativity’s tapped out this week), today was Community Meal day at Luther. They host free lunches once a month as a way to build community and gather donations for the food shelf. Today was a Thanksgiving meal, and the cafeteria was packed. One thing I enjoy about these meals (besides the free food) is seeing kids at Luther. I saw several cute babies today, and toddlers chasing each other through the dining hall. In the midst of a busy week of studying, kids remind me not to take life too seriously. I appreciate having the joys of childhood brought into what I normally think of as an academic setting. So, thanks parents/students!

Back from Boston

I arrived home late last night from Boston 2010, the last of four conferences celebrating the centennial celebration of the historic Edinburgh 1910 World Missionary Conference. To put this event in its historic context, one of the keynote speakers (I believe it was Peter Phan) said that Edinburgh 1910 was to Protestantism what Vatican II was to Catholicism in the 20th century. Many historians consider Edinburgh 1910 the beginning of the modern day ecumenical missions movement. That being said, this centennial celebration was filled with both reflection and constructive dialog that sought to set the stage for a new movement (and hopefully paradigm) for Christian mission.

Though some of them are a bit "academic"...here's some of my reflections on the event:

I was very encouraged by the emphasis on student scholarship and research. The event gave considerable time and resources to make this be a center piece of the event. The event sponsor, the Boston Theological Institute (BU School of Theology, BC School of Theology & Ministry, Harvard Divinity School, Andover-Newton Theological Seminary, Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary, Episcopal Divinity School, Holy Cross Greek Orthodox Seminary and St. John's Seminary), brought together students from all sorts of backgrounds and interests. I had the pleasure of presenting a paper on one of the eight panels. I presented my research on Alt. Worship in the UK as a Case Study on the "Changing Contours of Christian Unity" panel. Overall I was quite impressed with the panels, but sadly the moderator during my session did not allow equal time for discussion and so I didn't get much of a chance to really engage the audience. It was a great learning experience though to present a paper at such a big event. I'm grateful for the opportunity.

I'm struck by the importance of our reflective work on missions over the past century. I'm humbled and encouraged that there is a keen sense that we must reject the Colonialism of Edinburgh 1910. Post-Colonial and post-Christian/post-secular perspectives were assumed; if not in concept then in concern. I was however reminded of my on-going frustration with so much of mission studies being dominated by historians. I was quite affirmed on this point when Brian Stanley (University of Edinburgh), perhaps THE historian on mission, repeated often the "there are limits to the usefulness of the history of missions." I'm biased here, but I'm think a lot about the connections between mission and ecclesiology (theology of church). I'm struck how much of doing church/mission ought to be a matter of critical (prophetic if you'd rather use the Biblical term) engagement with the culture, with the context in which its done. If Christianity really is a "way of life" then it just seems like Jürgen Moltmann was right when he wrote that the church has a "witness of existence." I take it Moltmann meant existence in the past, present and future, but the focus of scholarship leans to heavy towards the past.

Perhaps there was the most clarity around this question: what is the relationship between Christianity and the world in a post-Colonial, post-Christian world? No small question I realize, but it is in many ways THE question. We are more aware today of how just how complicated our world is than ever before. We're also aware of how complicated Christian identity is. The relationship between the two doesn't simplify either of those two realities...of course it complexifies it all!

Is is possible to observe both Halloween and All Saints?

I can't count the number of news articles I've read and conversations I've had with people in which Halloween is condemned. Quite often, All Saints' Day is lifted up in its place. Me? I like 'em both.

For me, Halloween brings about community and creativity in a unique way. Costumes, trick-or-treating, parties, and good natured scares are fantastic--and, I think, good for us (especially those of us who tend to become so serious or lethargic as it gets darker and colder). Halloween was over a week ago, now, but I remember it vividly. The Saturday before Halloween, my wife and I drove up to Portland to spend time with her cousins. We went to an Ingrid Michaelson concert (which rocked, btw!), dressed as...zombies.

As you can maybe see from the picture to the left, we went all out. The highlight of the weekend was the time spent getting all "zombified." We shared many laughs, tried crazy new things, helped each other a lot, and grew as a family. Such a good time.

As for All Saints' Day, well, that's one of my favorite church festivals. At Holy Cross, we didn't go all out for All Saints' Sunday--we lit some candles, read aloud the names of those who have recently gone into the care of our Lord, and held those people (along with other saints lifted up by the congregation) in prayer. It was simple. It was beautiful. It was such a powerful experience for our congregation of sinner/saints to commemorate the saints that have gone before us.

Obviously, I think it's perfectly fine to not just observe both Halloween and All Saints' Day, but to celebrate them both. Both of these occasions remind us of death, but in very particular (and good) ways. In Halloween, we recognize death--but make a joke of it. After all, ultimately, death is a joke. Christ has conquered death, and it no longer has power over us. We are free to come together and celebrate life (and eat candy). All Saints' Day doesn't make a joke of death, but confronts it. We mourn those whom we have lost, but celebrate their eternal and full communion with God--and are reminded that we, too, are destined for similar glory. Both are occasions to celebrate!

I'm still alive!

Hi everyone!
I somehow managed to survive the dreaded mid-terms! Which mean I can finally have a life again (that is until the next period of exam comes around)! It seems like I'm finally are getting used to the new way of studying here at Luther Seminary. In Sweden we take classes in blocks, meaning we read one course at a time. One semester consists of four "blocks" making a block approximately four credits (yeah, we are tad lazier in Sweden). With exams taking place at the end of those blocks, making it impossible to have more than 1 test on the same day (unless you're reading a couple of courses parallel, such as Greek or Hebrew). It's good in one way, since you only have to concentrate on one subject at a time. Bad in another way, if you don't like the subject, find it to easy or if are very interested and want to spend additional time with it, you still have the same amount of time for all of the courses (unless again you're reading a special course such as Greek or the History of Christianity, which takes up two blocks).

I have also recently realized that I've been in the US for over half a term and that I am actually living in the US. A thought that seemed so far away when I first arrived in this foreign country in what feels to have been a long time ago...
I also realized that this has made me multilingual, meaning I make no distinction between English and Swedish in my mind anymore. Something that's generally a good thing but sometimes can be problematic, like when I accidentally answered my phone in Swedish and when I was telling a friend about my mistake afterwards and suddenly realized that I was doing the explanation partly in Swedish! Being multilingual has it's downsides (but mostly upsides)!

Reformation Sunday

Last Sunday was, of course Reformation Sunday. One would think that as Lutherans, we would get pretty excited about this special day in the church year. In the very least, we would expect to know what it is that we are celebrating.
A bit of background. Since moving into our current church facility a little over four years ago, I've somehow gotten the job of going up a rickety extension ladder to change a colored drape that hangs about 20 feet off the floor from a cross in the middle of the narthex. The drape matches the color currently featured in the church season, so you can imagine how often I'm up and down the ladder. Actually about 4 weeks in a row at the moment, but that's neither here nor there.
Mid way through last week I made one of my treks up the ladder to switch the drape from green, which it has been for months, to red in celebration of Reformation Sunday. I knew it was red and I knew it was Reformation Sunday. That being said, Sunday morning, early, I sat down to prep the prayers of the church, part of the worship service that I was doing. For whatever reason, I had it in my head that we were celebrating Pentecost Sunday. So I wrote the prayers, highlighting the Holy Spirit coming upon the disciples and the changes that we go through when the Holy Spirit comes upon us. All in all, I was pretty pleased.
Fast forward an hour or so and I was sitting in the front pew. My partner pastor stood up to do the welcome portion of the service and he discussed Reformation Sunday, when we remember the reformers that came before us and the contributions that they gave us.
PANIC!!!
Luckily, prayers of the church are way towards the end. So I reached over in the pew, grabbed a pencil, and quickly rewrote the prayers to be a little more applicable.
You'd think that would be the end of my troubles...but of course it wasn't. We also celebrated Confirmation at our second service, which I helped with. Things went pretty smoothly, with one exception. One of the last kids that I gave the confirmation blessing too had a little hiccup, or more so I had the hiccup. Instead of just beginning the blessing and inserting her name in the blessing, I began by saying her name. Then I had a mental argument with myself.
Here's the inner monologue.
"You messed up. You weren't supposed to read her name yet. Idiot. Okay, you can salvage this. Make a joke. People like jokes and they'll laugh. Wait a second. This is an important occasion for this student. I shouldn't be joking right now. Just ignore it...yah, that's good. That's what I'll do. Just ignore it. Maybe no one noticed."
And so I just went on and gave the blessing.
In the very least, the staff got a kick out of it this morning at our weekly staff meeting when I finally did make the joke at my own expense.
Better late than never I guess.

Time

Time seems to be a big concern to most seminary students. There never seems to be enough of it to get everything done, let alone have time for “fun.” Yesterday I was talking with some students about this. One student said that she has to choose between doing normal life stuff on the weekends and getting homework done. If she chooses the former, she starts off the week behind on homework. If she continually chooses the latter, eventually she feels she will loose it if she doesn’t take a break.

Last night in one of my classes the professor brought up an analogy he’s been using that speaks to our mortality: an hourglass glued to the table (from Anna Nalik’s song, “2am”). This a horrifying image to him, because each moment inevitably slips away, and there’s nothing we can do to reverse it.

Thinking about this can be kind of a downer. How are we supposed to balance homework with maintaining our church, family, work, and social lives? What about all the other activities on campus that we would like to take in, such as chapel, lectures, discipleship group, movie night, etc.?

I was wrestling with this very issue this weekend, and needed to take a break from my normal homework routine. So I went to the Saturday evening service at my church, just for a change. It turns out that the sermon dealt with exactly the issue I had been struggling with. The pastor called us to recognize that we often think of time as a commodity we can spend like money. Yet ultimately, it runs out, and there’s nothing we can do to get more. This is the stress the world creates around time. Then he provided a different conceptualization of time by looking at God. God does not seem to be in a hurry—not with the creation, not with our lives. Even Jesus, who had an acute sense of timing in his life and ministry, didn’t seem in any hurry to get started with his Son of God activities until age 30.

So what’s the message to us? That time is a gift from God to be enjoyed. Yes, there are many things we need to do, but being stressed out about them doesn’t help. If we recognize that time is God’s, not ours, we can receive each moment as a gift, and ask God how we should live that moment fully. Trusting God with time helps us create space for relationships and “normal” life in the midst of busy schedules. I think at this point in the semester we could all use a little of that.

On Sermon Writing, Preachers, and WorkingPreacher.org

I love preaching. I'm no expert, but I can't get enough of it. I enjoy the preparation, the writing, the risk-taking, the contextualization, and the performance apects of preaching a sermon. I also enjoy listening to them. Yes, you're right--I am a nerd.

For me, the preaching of a sermon is an incredible moment--when the influx of the Holy Spirit that takes God's Word, and through the hose of my mouth, douses the congregation with Law and Gospel. It never gets old. Yep--still a nerd, but a passionate one.

Since I've started internship, the writing process of the sermon has also become a great joy (although sometimes a great stress, too). This is what I've found works for me:
First, I always carefully read the text well in advance. I sit with the text, and it becomes part of me--a lens through which I see and live that week.
On the Tuesday before I preach, I do exegetical and commentary work, filling up pages and pages in a notebook.
On Wednesday, we have our local pastors text study, and have some fantastic discussion. Not only do I get to hear new and creative ways to preach a particular text, but it is a safe place where I can share and test ideas. There are some phenomenal theologians in our group.
On Thursday, I begin writing, but it's mostly brainstorming...and mostly just in my brain.
On Friday, I write. And hope to have a finished draft...that's happened once so far.
On Saturday, I finish the sermon. If I don't have plans and am not exhausted, I practice a bit.
On Sunday, I get to church a few hours before service starts and read through my sermon, making a few last-minute changes, then preach!

Essential to just about every step in this process is WorkingPreacher.org. The commentaries are always on point, and are directed towards preachers. Next, Sermon Brainwave is incredible--in the form of a podcast, we are essentially welcomed into a text study between (at least) three Luther Seminary professors. Then, if that conversation is not enough, we are invited to join online text study groups, of which I take part. Then, if you need inspiration, there are many Preaching Moments videos, giving helpful tips and and stories about the craft preaching.

Thanks to my supportive congregation, text studies, WorkingPreacher.org, preaching classes, and a lot of practice--preaching is evolving into more than a passion and a calling. It is becoming a skill. I don't mean to brag (because, let's be honest, I'm very much still a greenhorn in the art of preaching), but I look forward to honing this skill as my year as an intern goes on.

After speaking with some of my classmates, preaching for us interns has proven to be both a joy and challenge. As we get to know our congregations (and ourselves) better, we look forward to discovering how God will speak through us this year. My thoughts and prayers go out to all the preachers and preachers-in-training out there--keep up the good work.

All Saints

Today is my first All Saints Day. No, not the first one I’ve ever experienced, of course. But the first one that I’ve recognized a new saint on.

I’ve had grandparents die. One died when I was very young, two I wasn’t very close to and one died after a very long life and several years of severe Alzheimer’s. Until this year, I’ve been blessed to not have any close friends or family die. This changed in February when my mom died at a pretty young age after a terrible fight with breast cancer.

I know what All Saints Day celebrates. We are celebrating the fellowship of all saints and especially remembering those individuals in our lives who are now living, as Professor David Lose wrote on WorkingPreacher.com, “in the nearer presence of God.” (I really love that wording).

This has presented me with a struggle, though. See, while I believe in Christ’s promise, and I know my mom is in a better place, I would much rather have her with me. I don’t want to spend today remembering the saints who have gone before me. I spend every day remembering the saint missing from my life and I wish she were here. I cling to the understanding that I will see her again and it will be a joyous meeting and it is a better place for her (especially after watching cancer ravage her body). But I miss her and today, where we celebrate those who are in a better place, I’m a little angry and I really just want her back.

Dreaming of Lutherans

Some people dream of winning the lottery, or going on vacation to some exotic location; I dream of…Lutherans! Not every night, but about a year ago I had a dream that stuck with me. I dreamt I was invited to preach at the Lutheran church I grew up in. Now, after a recent invitation from that church’s current pastor, I am preparing my first “Lutheran sermon” to give in a couple of weeks. God works in interesting ways.

The dream was humorous. I walked into the church thinking I was well prepared, but quickly realized I had no idea what was going on. I didn’t know where to sit. I didn’t know where the robes were. I had no idea when it was my time to preach, and did not have a bulletin. All of a sudden, I realized I wasn’t preaching in a Baptist church, as I’m used to. So I started to panic, and turned to my dad who was sitting in the pew behind me (my parents still go to this church). I said, “Dad, what am I going to do? I prepared a Baptist sermon, not a Lutheran one. We just write a few notes down and roll with it, but Lutherans write it out word-for-word. They even script in their jokes—I didn’t do that!” My dad’s reply was, “Jenny, you just get up there and do what God’s called you to do.”

The dream ended before I actually preached. I guess now is my opportunity to work on the happy ending. It’s interesting that just this past week the passage we were discussing in my 1 Corinthians class was about Paul becoming all things to all people. I feel like this is a good life lesson on that. You never know exactly where God will call you, and I’m thankful that I can be comfortable in different settings. And thank God for that dream, because now I can make sure that I know ahead of time what to do that day!

For now my task is to write my first sermon in English, and to be concise. All the times I’ve preached before I’ve have a 30-45 minute time slot. I was told that now I’ll have about 14. I trust that all will go well, despite my dad’s constant joking that he’s going to sit in the back row in case I embarrass him and he has to make a quick escape. I prefer to focus on his response in my dream, and remember that that God doesn’t call us to do things without helping us do them.