Saturday, February 06, 2010

Mixed Emotions

by Scott Dalen

I'm sitting here at 7:30 in the morning feeling mixed emotions about a lot different things.

Last night, my wife and I went on a date. It was her idea, and a good one. We are about the begin a new semester, and as usual it will likely be a busy one. Roughly translated, evenings I'm going to have my nose buried in the computer screen or a text book. So we thought it was a good time to spend a little time together. Dinner and a was a good time. Now this morning, I'm up fairly early because my kids were (as usual) being fairly noisy. Irritating to say the least.

But here's the catch, I still get to spend time with my family.

A couple days ago, a well known/well liked member of my congregation died from cancer. He was 53. I knew him fairly well. A few years back I was the council secretary and he was the treasurer. We served together for 2 years. I wouldn't necessarily say that I knew him well, but I knew him and liked him.

I'm sitting here mildly irritated with my kids for being so noisy, but I'm still here to enjoy them. He's not.

Mixed emotions.

Yesterday I managed to finish up my first congregational review paper for RTA. Those of you that have taken it can relate to how monumental of a task this is. On the one hand, I'm very pleased and happy to have it finished. I feel like I can slack off...for today anyway. On the other hand, as I mentioned earlier, the new semester starts Monday. I'm taking Hebrew. By the end of week one, so essentially a week from now, I need to be able to recite the Hebrew alphabet. I have even looked at it yet. I'm feeling guilty about that, like I should start in today.

I want to relax for a day, but I feel like I should get to work.

Mixed emotions.

I sit here looking out the window at the light snow falling, and I know that I need to get out and shovel the driveway, but I'm not in too big of a hurry because we dodged the bullet of the big storm that we expected to get, and that's a great thing. On the other hand, the east coast is getting hammered. My sister in law lives in northern Virginia. Her husband just left for job training that is going to last 3 months. Her daughter is actually here in Iowa for the next month staying with my wife's other sister. So she is by herself, and called this morning to say that she has to dig herself out from all the snow they've gotten.

We missed the storm, but others weren't so lucky. I don't have to worry about getting dug out while others are completely blanketed.

Mixed emotions.

Long story short, for the most part I'm feeling relieved this morning. Relieved to have a BIG project done, relieved to have gotten a very satisfying score on my RTA midterm (from a couple weeks ago that just arrived in the mail yesterday), relieved to have missed the big storm, relieved to have a break (though a short one) before starting another semester.

I'm trying to take joy in that relief despite the things that have me a little down today. A day or two ago, fellow blogger Jenni wrote about answering the question "where is God in this." I think that's a very good question to ask ourselves. I've been asking myself that very thing the past few minutes as I'm reflecting on these different things.

The man from the congregation isn't suffering anymore. He went home to be with Jesus. That has to be a relief for him. God gave me the opportunity to get my work done with a couple days to spare, because God knows that I need a break before diving into another busy semester. My sis in law's husband is gone for a few months, but he arrived safely even through the big snow storm out that way and her daughter is safe with family while she's out digging through the snow. God is giving her the ability to do what she needs to do.

Yep, God's there...I just need to remember to look. And when I see Him, I need to be thankful for it.

Maybe those emotions aren't so mixed anymore.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the thoughts, it made me stop for a few moments and count my blessings and realize that God is everywhere if you just take time to look! :)


2/07/2010 06:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Linda in California said...

We do forget to see God in the small things. Thanks for reminding me He is everywhere and cares about us in all things.

2/09/2010 11:36:00 AM  

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