Spring: Patience, My Dear

I’m done with winter.

We’re getting to that point in late February and early March when the sun comes out and the temperatures will soar into the mid-30s, taunting us with spring. On these days I wear shoes without socks or refuse mittens because Spring feels too close to bundle up any longer. The snow melts into giant puddles we must navigate during the day but freeze again, forming dangerous sheets of ice when the sun sets. What a tease.

This weekend was one of those wonderful “in between” weekends with little on the calendar. I knew I would stray from homework into movie theaters and the Gophers’ baseball game in the Metrodome. I worked out, went on walks and age good food with friends. I slept late and wore sweatpants while watching the kind of cable TV that lulls you into a blur. It was wonderful!

But when temperatures dipped again last night, I decided to embrace the weekend denial with a trip to the tanning salon. That’s right. I’m coming clean! I thought a little color – just a touch – would usher in Spring with optimistic enthusiasm.

The “salon” was a rude awakening. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d done this. I know it’s not healthy. Paying money for this bizarre ritual and the cancer risk is ridiculous! But I pulled out my wallet anyway. (Tsk, Tsk.) Just five minutes, I told myself. I was sure that five minutes could give me a sunny glow with which to welcome green grass and Easter.

Winter has crippled my pigment with such authority that I am now…well…red. Five minutes is, apparently, five minutes too long for this little lady. And since there’s no hiding my little mishap, I thought I’d confess my unfortunate and ineffective cure-all for winter. I wouldn’t want you to try the same defeat at home. Although they say tanning promotes self-esteem and helps those with Seasonal Affective Disorder, burning, in fact, leads to awkwardness. A dangerous sport if you ask me.

So I did not get windburn from skiing and I haven’t been holding my breath. I am trying to create awareness in the fight against Awkwardness and Winter. Go ahead. Laugh now, but in a few days I just might have the look of spring.

Learned My Lesson,
The Scarlet Letter