How to Grocery Shop (According to My 22 Year Old Brother)

I told Gabe that I was thinking about sharing his 'skills' with all of you. He said, and I quote, "Go ahead. The world should know how it's done."

1. Go to the grocery store in the late afternoon when you're really hungry.
2. Never use a list. That would be cheating and too efficient.
3. Display total confidence in the produce section, but stop and admit before moving on into the aisles, deli, dairy and bakery: "Ooh. This is the part where I get really overwhelmed."
4. Buy anything that has a 4 for $10 deal.
   
5. Buy more frozen foods than you have room for in your freezer.
6. Buy skim milk to drink and 2% for everything else. ("A gallon of skim just goes down so easy and lets my food fill me up.")
7. Staples (frozen pizzas, frozen bagged dinners, pre-packaged oatmeal) should be stockpiled like they're going out of style.
8. Stand in the candy aisle staring awkwardly at the shelves until your sister catches you and has a flashback to when you were little and had to wear a Velcro harness attached to Mom in the grocery store.
9. Spend most of your time and money on meat and dairy.
10. Be surprised when your total at the register is your sister's monthly grocery budget.

He had me in stitches for the full hour we shopped. I thought I'd share his wisdom with you. And if you see an overwhelmed young man with a cart full of RC Cola and 4 of everything, be sure to tell him that his ten easy rules changed your life.