Reparations Quietly Sought, or, Norwegian Lutherans won't always have access to the best butter in the dairy fridge!

This week at Luther many students are doing the work of thanksgiving two weeks early. They are writing thank you cards to the many donors who, through their charitable giving, help to fund various scholarships awarded to students at Luther Seminary. When this time comes around each, students are given the names and addresses of individuals who contributed to their scholarships and are given cards/envelopes by means of which the Seminary can connect donors and students, patrons and benefactors. Matters of finance play a big role in the lives of Luther's students and many are grateful for the support of the 'great cloud of witnesses' from around the country and globe.

Meanwhile, another financial campaign has begun to gather a head of proverbial steam. Irish American students have begun to develop a plan to be presented to the Seminary Board at it's spring meeting that would provide financial aid to qualified students in the form of reparations due on account of the decades-long-tyranny perpetrated upon the Emerald Isle and it's people by Nordic Vikings for the better part of a millenium, a millenium ago. One student, who refused to give a full name but asked to be identified only as Ian Ulin-Cleary said, "These vicious Norwegians around here have no idea what it's like to be a student here, to try and make a go of the vocation to which we're called with the significant financial disadvantages inherent in our inherited lack of inheritance." Another Irish Lutheran pointed out the significant advantages a Norwegian Lutheran student possesses when she relayed the story of walking to class one day. "Two blond 'bears' jumped out into my path and mauled me with criticisms while a group of St. Olaf grads shouted, 'Go on up you bald Irish head, Go on up you bald Irish head.'" Yet another Lutheran of Irish descent claimed no one will sit with her at lunch and she regularly endures taunts of both "Papist," and "Crude Sacramentarian Proddie!"

The above photo shows students gathering outside an unnamed downtown Minneapolis office building in order to discuss the plan of action. One spokesperson said that persons of any Gaelic descent would be welcome into the ranks of the plaintiffs, even those from "crummy Scotland."