"Ribbit"

I used to love Halloween, but I’ve been a party pooper for the past few years. My costumes were fun, goofy and creative for so many years, but I think I lost my pizzazz. Reformation Day and Visiting Bishop Day trumped Halloween until I left campus late afternoon.

I arrived home and parked outside my neighbors’ house. They have a beautiful porch where the kids play and read. The little boy always looks away shyly when I wave, but today he was anything but shy. Armed with his pumpkin bucket and masquerading as a frog he hopped up and down the porch. When I waved this time, he didn’t turn away. He looked right at me, emboldened, with a word: “Ribbit”.

I bought pounds of candy and drove down Summit Avenue toward Matt’s house where I planned to hand it out. The song on the radio, Van Morrison’s ‘Stranded’ suddenly seemed all too appropriate for my life.

I'm stranded at the edge of the world
It's a world I don't know
Got no where to go
Feels like I'm stranded

And I'm stranded between that ol' devil and the deep blue sea
And nobody's gonna tell me, tell me what, what time it is

Everyday, everyday, it's hustle, hustle time, hustle time
Everyday and every way, one more, one more mountain to climb

It's leaving me stranded
In my own little island
With my eyes open wide
But I'm feeling stranded

Every, every, everyday, it's hustle time
Every way, one more mountain to climb

I'm stranded between the devil and the deep blue sea
There ain't no where else to be
'Cept right here and I'm stranded

I smiled listening to these words as I rolled by the beautiful real estate and tiny Batmans and Elmos through thick evening traffic. His voice is relaxed and in sweet observance of his situation. And so I took a few blocks to ponder “my own little island”.

My life is full of in betweens: I don’t seem to want to dress up this year, but love the parade of children adorned. I’m engaged and planning a wedding but will still fill out my Assignment Forms A & B as “single”. I’m a senior, wedged between internship, approval and assignment, between questions and answers. I am so excited to graduate and be a pastor, but have no idea what next year holds for me. Geographic restriction approved or denied? Ordained or lay? Employment as a pastor or waitress?

I spend a lot of time telling myself that everything is going to be fine. I hear other people telling each other its going to be fine. We all know it will be, but when you’re stranded in these in between places, there’s plenty of time to wonder. But last night, validated by Van Morrison and inspired by the brave frog, there was a moment when I actually believed it with all my heart.