Family and Friends

About once a week I have a home-cooked dinner with a group of friends. This ritual has been happening ever since the second week of the 05-06 school year. Sometimes we just sit and watch the TV programs that are on that night. Sometimes we talk and laugh about things we are going through and other times the conversation can get pretty serious. This week, a very in-depth conversation came over us as we finished eating our meal. Those around the table were all in their second year at seminary, some were MA’s getting ready to graduate, or continue their time here, while allowing God to open up the next chapter of their life. The others were MDiv’s who are taking one day at a time, trying not to focus too much on where they will be next year (for internship assignments have still yet to come out). As we chatted about being in different states next year and the effort that it will take to continue with the sense of community, we reflected on the unique stage of life that seminary has brought us into.

All of us are at least three hours away from family, and some of us are at least three states away. We noticed that the lives and families that we left are continuing without us. We may be included through a phone call or through the seldom trip home, but for the most part our lives and energy are focused here at seminary. It is also here at seminary that we have created a community and have made friendships of worth. Even though many of us are eager to begin this new chapter, there is a grief that comes with the idea of leaving this community and having to start over again.

The other concept that came out of this conversation was the difference is between family and community. Both ties are very strong, however, we realized that the maintenance of community requires more effort than that of family. This is most certainly true when you are trying to maintain that community over the distance of many miles. So in one sense, the mobility and the opportunities that face our generation, and the generations to come, is a blessing and a wonderful way for young adults to come into their own; but on the other hand, is all of this mobility hindering our ability to create a narrative that is all our own? With every location change, there is a loss of history. For with every new location comes the need to create new connections and new memories, and with every new location comes the needed intention to maintain the old ones. We have lost the days where people come to this earth and leave this earth in the very same town. We are in an age where more intentionality is required to create community whereever we may be. Many will agree, the seminary is an amazing time in life- a time that can never be replicated, and as the R&B group of my youth, Boyz II Men, once said, ”It’s Hard to Say Goodbye”.