It's the most wonderful time of the year

So every day, I sit on the couch at my apartment and see this beautiful Christmas tree. Except I can't concentrate much on how beautiful it is or how happy I am about Christmas coming because I'm too busy whittling away at the massive amount of papers and projects that are due this week and next week at Luther Seminary.

I should warn you upfront that this blog entry will be neither exciting nor well thought out. I'm writing it fast because I've got lots of other stuff to do. But it's been way too long since I've submitted an entry, and this end-of-the-semester mayhem is clearly the overwhelming issue for me right now.

Normally I really love December. Not only is Christmas coming, but so is my birthday. In a matter of days. And I'm still excited about that. But mostly, I'm overwhelmed.

A lot of this is my fault. If I could have managed my time better during the semester, I could have had a lot of this schoolwork done in advance. I will admit that I'm a procrastinator, as my new friends at Luther are beginning to realize. I'm not proud of it, and I'm trying to change it. But the whole procrastinating thing is also a side affect of some of my priorities, like not letting important things and important people fall by the wayside because of schoolwork. I've had a lot of meaningful conversations — theological and otherwise — with friends new and old this semester that wouldn't have come to be if I was more constantly focused on course work. And there has been that classic finals/holiday-season struggle between studying and Christmas shopping. I also tend to bite off way too much work at any given time. And my brain is wired as such that when I get a project started (even belatedly), I care about it enough that I demand every moment available to do a good job on it. But that pushes back my schedule and rushes me even more with the next project.

And then there are some time-stealing factors outside my control, like that jolly, old symbol of this particular season: the stomach flu. I got the flu (it might have been food poisoning; I'm not going to give you the details and ask you to diagnose it for me) on Sunday night, as I was finishing up a presentation on Count Zinzendorf that was due Monday. Thanks to the nasty symptoms, I had to stay home from classes on Monday — the only lucky thing was that my instructor who assigned the presentation canceled our class at the last minute, so I ended up giving the presentation today. And yesterday, as my body was starting to work right again, my car wouldn't. I had to spend almost all day trying to study at the Roseville Library and the Har Mar Mall while the auto guys figured out how to get the key out my car's ignition. Oh, and when I got home, there was a fire alarm at my apartment building, but I won't complain about that because nothing burned down.

Anyway, I'm not entirely bummed about all this work in the midst of what should be the most wonderful time of the year. To be a seminary student is a terrific blessing, and having these challenging opportunities to learn is really a great thing. I'm reminding myself of all the people and things I'm grateful for in my life and looking forward to a little more than a week from now when I can focus on them (and this beautiful Christmas tree) more when Christmas comes. Until then, I'll cling to that classic piece of pastors' advice: Take it one day at a time.

And I think I've got my New Year's Resolution figured out. I'll give you a hint: It involves not procrastinating. After all, I don't think I could be more persistent about washing my hands to prevent the flu.